1
00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:58,880
What came first,
2
00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:01,560
the music or the misery?
3
00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:05,240
People worry about kids playing with
guns, or watching violent videos...
4
00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:08,120
that some sort of culture of violence
will take them over.
5
00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:10,240
Nobody worries about kids
listening to thousands--
6
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:14,920
literally, thousands of songs
about heartbreak, rejection...
7
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:18,360
pain, misery and loss.
8
00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:21,480
Did I listen to pop music
because I was miserable...
9
00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:24,480
or was I miserable
because I listened to pop music?
10
00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:28,360
You're gonna wake up wonderin'
11
00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:31,320
Find your self on the floor
12
00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:41,800
You don't have to go this second.
You can stay until whenever.
13
00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:44,760
No. We've done the hard part now.
I might as well--
14
00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:47,120
Why don't you stay for tonight then?
15
00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:51,600
Laura.
16
00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:57,000
You're just gonna--
17
00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:17,560
My desert island, all-time top five
most memorable breakups...
18
00:02:17,640 --> 00:02:20,000
in chronological order...
19
00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:21,880
are as follows:
20
00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:25,760
Alison Ashmore, Penny Hardwick...
21
00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:29,360
Jackie Alden, Charlie Nicholson
and Sarah Kendrew.
22
00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:32,440
Those were the ones
that really hurt.
23
00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:36,760
Can you see your name
on that list, Laura?
24
00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:39,760
Maybe you'd sneak into the top ten.
25
00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:43,000
But there's just no room for you
in the top five. Sorry!
26
00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:45,480
Those places are reserved for the kind
of humiliation and heartbreak...
27
00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:47,920
you're just not capable of delivering.
28
00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:56,400
If you really wanted to mess me up,
you should've gotten to me earlier!
29
00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:14,560
Which brings us to number one
on the top five, all-time breakup list...
30
00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:17,040
Alison Ashmore.
31
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:23,480
One moment they weren't there. Not in
any form that interested us, anyway.
32
00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:27,120
And then the next,
you couldn't miss them.
33
00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:31,240
They were everywhere,
and they'd grown breasts.
34
00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:35,360
And we wanted--
35
00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:37,880
Actually, we didn't even
know what we wanted.
36
00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:39,920
But it was something interesting.
37
00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:44,080
Disturbing, even.
38
00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:48,000
My relationship with Alison
Ashmore lasted for six hours:
39
00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:51,960
the two hours after school,
before "The Rockford Files"
40
00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:54,600
for three days in a row.
41
00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:59,040
But on the fourth afternoon--
42
00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:01,320
Kevin Bannister.
43
00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:05,360
Slut.
44
00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:09,720
It would be nice to think that
since I was 14, times have changed...
45
00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:12,560
relationships have become
more sophisticated...
46
00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:15,000
females less cruel...
47
00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:18,120
skins thicker,
instincts more developed.
48
00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:24,200
But there seems to be an element
of that afternoon in everything
that's happened to me since.
49
00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:30,000
All my romantic stories are
a scrambled version of that first one.
50
00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:35,000
Number two on the top five, all-time
breakup list was Penny Hardwick.
51
00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:36,640
Penny was great-looking...
52
00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:40,200
and her top-five recording artists
were Carly Simon, Carole King...
53
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:44,120
James Taylor, Cat Stevens
and Elton John.
54
00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:51,000
Erin! No, come here!
55
00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:57,000
She was nice.
56
00:04:57,120 --> 00:04:59,760
Nice manners, nice grades, nice looking.
57
00:04:59,840 --> 00:05:02,480
She was so nice, in fact,
that she wouldn't let me put my hand...
58
00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:04,040
underneath or even
on top of her bra.
59
00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:09,040
Attack and defense.
Invasion and repulsion.
60
00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:13,680
It was as if breasts were little pieces
of property that had unlawfully annexed
by the opposite sex.
61
00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:16,320
They were rightfully ours,
and we wanted them back.
62
00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:21,720
Sometimes I got so bored of trying
to touch her breasts that I would try
to touch her between her legs.
63
00:05:21,840 --> 00:05:26,120
I was like trying to borrow a dollar,
getting turned down
and asking for 50 grand instead.
64
00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:31,160
I wasn't interested in Penny's
nice qualities, just breasts...
65
00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:34,120
and therefore she was no good to me.
66
00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:37,160
What's the point?
It never goes anywhere.
67
00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:44,480
Rob?
68
00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:48,000
I started dating a girl who everyone
said would give it up and who didn't...
69
00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:51,640
and Penny went with this asshole
named Chris Thompson who told me
that he had sex with her...
70
00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:54,040
after something like three dates.
71
00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:01,080
I own this store
called Championship Vinyl.
72
00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:06,600
It's located in a neighborhood
that attracts the bare minimum
of window shoppers.
73
00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:10,040
I get by because the people
make a special effort to shop here.
74
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:12,080
Mostly young men...
75
00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:14,760
who spend all their time looking
for deleted Smiths singles...
76
00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:18,880
and original-- not re-released,
underlined-- Frank Zappa albums.
77
00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:33,160
Fetish properties
are not unlike porn.
78
00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:37,120
I'd feel guilty taking their money
if I wasn't...
79
00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:39,480
well, kinda one of em.
80
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:47,280
- Morning, Dick.
- Oh. Hi. Hi, Rob.
81
00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:50,120
- Have a good weekend?
- Yeah, okay.
82
00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:54,240
Um, I found the first "Liquorice Comfits"
album over at Vintage Vinyl...
83
00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:56,040
the one on Testament of Youth.
84
00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:58,920
Never released here.
A Japanese import only.
85
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,200
Great. Great.
86
00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:05,600
- I'll tape it for you.
- No, that's okay. Really.
87
00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:08,520
Cause you liked their second one,
you said. Um, Pop Girls, Etc.
88
00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:11,480
That's the one with
Cheryl Ladd on the cover.
89
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:18,560
Oh, you never saw the cover, though.
You just had that tape that I made you.
90
00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:21,520
Yeah, I haven't really
absorbed that one yet.
91
00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:24,960
Well...
92
00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:27,360
- I'll just make it for you.
- Okay.
93
00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:39,760
- Dick. What's this?
- It's the new "Belle and Sebastian."
94
00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:41,920
Do you like it?
95
00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:52,000
Holy Shiite.
96
00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:55,200
- What the fuck is that?
- It's the new "Belle and Sebastian" that--
97
00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:57,440
It's a record we've been listening
to and enjoying, Barry.
98
00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:02,400
Well, that's unfortunate,
because it sucks ass.
99
00:08:02,520 --> 00:08:04,800
Yours, I assume.
100
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:25,240
Turn it off, Barry!
101
00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:28,680
It won't go any louder! I--
102
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,840
Turn it off!
103
00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:50,960
Okay, buddy, uh,
I was just trying to cheer us up.
104
00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:55,080
So, go ahead. Put on some old
sad bastard music. See if I care.
105
00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:59,040
I don't wanna hear old sad
bastard music, Barry. I just want
something that I can ignore.
106
00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:02,400
Here's the thing: I made
that tape special for today.
107
00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:05,080
My special Monday morning tape
for you, special!
108
00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:07,200
Well, it's fucking Monday afternoon!
You should get out of bed earlier!
109
00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:09,920
Come on, dude. Play it.
110
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:12,600
Don't you wanna hear what's next?
111
00:09:12,680 --> 00:09:14,720
- What's next?
- Play it.
112
00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:16,880
Say it.
113
00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:19,720
"Little Latin Loopy-Loo."
114
00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:22,840
- Mitch Ryder and the Detroit Wheels?
- No!
115
00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:26,000
- The Righteous Brothers.
- Well, never mind.
116
00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:29,120
No, not never mind.
You tell me right now-- what's wrong
with the Righteous Brothers?
117
00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:32,000
- Nothing.
I-- I just prefer the other one.
- Bullshit!
118
00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:35,040
How can it be bullshit
to state a preference?
119
00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:38,000
- Since when did this store
become a fascist regime?
- Since you brought that bullshit tape in.
120
00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:41,560
Oh, man, that's great. That's the fun
thing about working in a record store.
121
00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:44,080
You get to play crappy pap
you don't even wanna listen to.
122
00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:47,320
I just-- I thought this tape
was gonna be a fuckin'...
123
00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:49,640
conversation stimulator, man.
124
00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:52,840
I was gonna ask you for your top five
records to play on a Monday morning
and all that...
125
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:54,600
and you just had to
fuckin' ruin it.
126
00:09:54,680 --> 00:09:57,720
- We'll do it next Monday.
- No! I wanna do it now!
127
00:09:57,800 --> 00:10:02,400
I can't fire them. I hired these guys
for three days a week, and they just
started showing up every day.
128
00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:04,800
That was four years ago.
129
00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:12,000
Number three on the top five
all-time breakup list?
130
00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:15,440
Charlie Nicholson.
Sophomore year of college.
131
00:10:15,560 --> 00:10:18,000
Whoo!
Am I glad that's over.
132
00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:21,240
As soon as I saw her I realized she was
the kind of girl I'd wanted to meet...
133
00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:23,520
ever since I was old enough
to want to meet girls.
134
00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:25,320
I mean, she was different.
135
00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:28,360
She was dramatic
and she was exotic.
136
00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:30,280
- The guy with the make-up
and the tongue.
- Gene Simmons.
- Gene Simmons. There.
137
00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:33,880
And she talked a lot,
and when she talked she said
remarkably interesting things...
138
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,840
about music, books, film and politics.
139
00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:40,680
- Yeah, Chairman Mao.
- And she talked a lot.
- Have you ever seen him
less than 300 feet tall?
140
00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:42,480
- No.
- Huh? No.
141
00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:45,920
And you won't will you,
sweetheart? No.
142
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:49,760
Kiss my neck. Yeah.
143
00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:51,920
And she liked me.
144
00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:55,080
She liked me.
She liked me.
145
00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:57,760
At least I think she did.
146
00:10:57,840 --> 00:11:00,720
- Do you like that one?
- Yeah.
147
00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:02,960
It's okay.
148
00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:06,000
We went out for two years, and...
149
00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:08,680
I never got comfortable.
150
00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:12,800
Why would a girl-- No, a woman
like Charlie go out with me?
151
00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:23,520
I felt like a fraud. I felt like one
of those people who suddenly shave their
heads and said they'd always been punks.
152
00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:27,040
I was sure I'd be discovered
at any second.
153
00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:33,120
And I worried about
my abilities as a lover.
154
00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:45,120
And I was intimidated by other men
in her design department...
155
00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:48,240
and became convinced she was
gonna leave me for one of them.
156
00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:57,720
Then she left me for one of them.
The dreaded Marco.
157
00:11:57,840 --> 00:12:02,600
Charlie, you fucking bitch!
Let's work it out!
158
00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:06,400
Just open the fucking door!
Charlie!
159
00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:09,720
Look, let's talk it-- Char--
160
00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:27,520
And then I lost it.
161
00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:32,240
Kinda lost it all, you know?
162
00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:34,600
Faith, dignity, about 15 pounds.
163
00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:44,920
When I came to a few months later...
164
00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:48,240
I found, to my surprise,
I had flunked out of school.
165
00:12:49,760 --> 00:12:52,640
I started working in a record shop.
166
00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:57,040
Some people never got over 'Nam or
the night their band opened for Nirvana.
167
00:12:57,160 --> 00:12:59,720
I guess I never really
got over Charlie.
168
00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:04,320
But the thing I learned
from the whole Charlie debacle
is that you gotta punch your weight.
169
00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:07,440
See, Charlie, she's out of my class.
170
00:13:07,560 --> 00:13:11,640
She's too pretty, too smart,
too witty, too much.
171
00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:14,000
I mean, what am I?
I'm a middleweight.
172
00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:17,920
Hey, I'm not
the smartest guy in the world,
but I'm certainly not the dumbest.
173
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:20,560
I mean, I've read books like "The
Unbearable Lightness of Being"
174
00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:25,400
and "Love in the Time of Cholera"
and I think I've understood them.
175
00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:29,000
I mean, they're about girls,
right? Just kidding.
176
00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:31,520
But I have to say...
177
00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:35,160
my all-time favorite book is
Johnny Cash's autobiography,
Cash by Johnny Cash.
178
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:39,200
- Championship.
- Hi.
179
00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:50,240
Hi.
180
00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:52,960
Um, I was thinking...
181
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:57,240
I could come by the house
and pick up some stuff while
you're at work tomorrow.
182
00:13:57,360 --> 00:14:00,000
While I'm at work.
While I'm at work.
183
00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:02,520
- Oh, boy, oh, boy.
- That's what you got to say is,
"Oh, boy"?
184
00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:04,760
I mean, bravo.
That's--
185
00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:07,480
- Laura, this is just so dumb.
I mean, you should--
- Look, Rob.
186
00:14:07,560 --> 00:14:10,280
I gotta go.
187
00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:14,600
Um, I'm looking for a record
for my daughter for her birthday.
188
00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:18,760
"I Just Called to Say I Love You."
Do you have it?
189
00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:21,600
- Yeah.
- Great.
- We have it.
- Great.
190
00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:25,760
- Can I have it then?
- No. No, you can't.
191
00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:28,800
- Why not?
- Well, it's sentimental, tacky crap,
that's why not.
192
00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:31,040
Do we look like the kind of store that
sells "I Just Called to Say I Love You"?
193
00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:33,280
Go to the mall.
194
00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:35,560
- What's your problem?
- Do you even know your daughter?
195
00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:38,760
There's no way she likes that song.
Oh-- Uh, oh, is she in a coma?
196
00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:42,640
Oh, okay, buddy. I didn't know it was
Pick On The Middle-Aged Square Guy Day.
197
00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:45,040
My apologies.
I'll be on my way.
198
00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:48,240
Bye-bye.
199
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:51,600
Fuck you.
200
00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:57,160
Nice, Barry. Really, really nice.
That was just top class.
201
00:14:57,280 --> 00:15:01,720
Rob. Top Five Musical Crimes
Perpetrated by Stevie Wonder
in the'80s and'90s. Go.
202
00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:07,440
Sub-question: Is it, in fact, unfair
to criticize a formerly great artist
for his latter-day sins?
203
00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:09,440
Is it better to burn out
than to fade away?
204
00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:14,480
- Barry, I'm fucking broke, man!
- Jesus! He was gonna buy one record,
which we didn't even have, and then
leave and never come back again anyway.
205
00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:17,600
- That's not the point.
What did he ever do to you?
- He offended me with his terrible taste.
206
00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:19,840
It wasn't even his terrible taste.
It was his daughter's.
207
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:22,920
Are you defending that ass-muncher?
Come on, Rob.
208
00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:25,080
You're going soft in your old age.
Jesus!
209
00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:27,640
Now all of a sudden
I'm offending your golf buddy.
210
00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:29,680
I'm gonna tell you something
for your own good, pal.
211
00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:32,960
That's the worst fuckin' sweater
I've ever seen. It's a Cosby sweater.
212
00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:35,280
A Cosby sweater!
213
00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:37,640
Did Laura let you leave the house
like that, because--
214
00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:40,600
- Hey--
- Hey! Hey!
- Fuckin' asshole.
215
00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:42,200
- What are you do--
- Shut up. Will you shut up?
216
00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:44,400
- Uh...
- Will you?
- break it up.
- You're a fuckin' maniac.
217
00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:48,600
I swear to God, if you tore this thing,
it's vintage, and I would
fuckin' sock your nose.
218
00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:50,960
You'll pay big.
219
00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:03,760
Are you all right?
220
00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:08,360
Yeah. Look, Dick, Laura and I
broke up. She's gone.
221
00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:12,120
So if you ever see Barry again,
maybe you could tell him that.
222
00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:16,200
Of course I will, Rob.
No problem.
223
00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:19,240
No problem at all.
224
00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:25,000
I'll tell him next time I see him.
Definitely.
225
00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:29,760
I've, uh, got some other stuff
to tell him, anyway, so it's no problem.
226
00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:34,240
I'll just tell him,
you know, about Laura...
227
00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:36,520
um, when I tell him...
228
00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:40,320
the other stuff.
229
00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:47,760
Do you want to talk about it,
that kind of thing?
230
00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:50,160
No. Thank you, though, Dick.
231
00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:53,480
Thank you.
232
00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:18,600
Look at these. I used to dream I'd be
surrounded by exotic women's underwear
forever and ever.
233
00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:23,360
Now I know they just save their best
pairs for the nights they know
they're gonna sleep with somebody.
234
00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:37,440
Hello, Laura, this is your mother. Your
father's angina is a little rough today.
235
00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:39,880
I thought he might like to talk to you.
It's no big deal.
236
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,960
I love you two. Bye-bye.
237
00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:45,040
Anyway, me and Charlie,
we didn't match.
238
00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:47,360
Marco and Charlie matched.
239
00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:51,240
Me and Sarah, number four
on the all-time list? We matched.
240
00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:53,920
She'd just been dumped
by some asshole named Michael.
241
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:56,760
I mean, Michael
was such an asshole.
242
00:17:56,840 --> 00:17:59,040
I'd just been run over by Charlie.
243
00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:01,240
I know exactly what you mean.
244
00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:05,960
I mean, it's just
so painful and draining.
245
00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:09,120
I'm just gonna be by myself
for a while.
246
00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:11,600
Me too. Me too.
247
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:20,080
It made sense to pool our collective
loathing for the opposite sex.
248
00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:24,160
And while we were at it we could share
a bed with somebody at the same time.
249
00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:27,360
We were frightened of being left alone
for the rest of our lives.
250
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:32,040
Only people of a certain disposition
are frightened of being left alone
for the rest of their lives at 26.
251
00:18:32,120 --> 00:18:34,720
We were of that disposition.
252
00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:37,680
- So when she told me--
- I've met someone else.
253
00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:42,920
Who?
254
00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:44,840
Just someone else.
255
00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:48,320
It was contrary to the whole spirit
of our arrangement.
256
00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:53,600
I don't have to take this shit.
You think I fuckin' look like shit, huh?
257
00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:56,120
So how come I got dumped?
258
00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:58,840
What?
259
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:06,200
- Hey, Dick. Come on in. What is it?
- Oh, um, well, we're going
to Lounge Axe...
260
00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:10,920
and, um, I was just wondering
if you wanted to come along with us.
261
00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:12,680
Whoa.
262
00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:15,080
Um, Marie De Salle's playing.
263
00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:17,760
You remember I told you
about her today? I like her.
264
00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:24,480
She's kind of Sheryl Crow-ish, crossed
with a, um, post-Partridge Family,
pre-L.A. Law Susan Dey kind of thing.
265
00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:28,000
- But, you know, um, black.
- Yeah.
266
00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:32,200
So, um, I just wanted to know
if you wanted to come along.
267
00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:36,680
Barry thought so too, really,
but I guess it looks as if you're...
268
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:39,160
- reorganizing your records.
- Reorganizing my records. Yeah.
269
00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:42,160
Um, what is this, uh, chronological?
270
00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:44,480
No.
271
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:47,320
- Not alphabetical.
- Nope.
272
00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:50,360
What?
273
00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,400
Autobiographical.
274
00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:54,800
- No fucking way.
- Yep.
275
00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:59,280
I can tell you how I got from Deep
Purple to Howling Wolf in just 25 moves.
276
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:03,920
- Oh, my God.
- And, if I want to find the song
"Landslide," by Fleetwood Mac...
277
00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:09,400
I have to remember that I bought it
for someone in the fall of 1983 pile...
278
00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:12,680
but didn't give it to them
for personal reasons.
279
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:15,160
- That sounds--
- Comforting?
280
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:17,320
- Yes.
- It is.
281
00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:20,520
- Hello?
- Well, shoo.
282
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:24,880
I can stick around, you know, man,
if you-- I-- if you want me to help out.
283
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:28,440
But you really shouldn't,
uh, keep'em piled like this,
because it gets really pressured.
284
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:30,760
- Hold on.
- You know?
- See you tomorrow.
- Oh. Okay.
285
00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:32,600
- Okay.
- I'll see you.
286
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:37,960
- Hi, Mom.
- How's the store?
287
00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:41,320
You know something?
You're very lucky that Laura
is doing as well as she's doing.
288
00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:44,680
Because if it wasn't for her, I don't
think either of us would ever sleep.
289
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:48,280
She left. She's gone.
290
00:20:48,360 --> 00:20:51,400
What? What do you mean?
291
00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:53,400
- Where did she go?
- How would I know where?
292
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:58,440
She's gone. Girlfriend leave.
Not say where gone. Laura move out.
293
00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:01,680
- Well, call her mother.
- She just called.
294
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:05,680
She doesn't even know. Probably
the last time I'll ever hear her voice.
295
00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:15,720
- I'm all right,
if that's what's upsetting you.
- That is not what's upsetting me.
296
00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:19,200
- Well, it fuckin' should be,
shouldn't it?
- I knew this would happen.
297
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:22,120
- What are you gonna do, Rob?
- I'm gonna drink a bottle of wine,
I'm gonna watch TV and go to bed.
298
00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:24,160
- Then I'm gonna go to work.
- And then what?
299
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:25,960
I'm gonna meet a nice girl
and have children.
300
00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:28,680
I promise the next time we talk,
I'll have it all figured out. Okay?
301
00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:31,040
- I knew-- I knew it was
gonna happen again.
- What are you getting so upset about?
302
00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:33,840
- Do you know why she left?
- It's got nothing to do with marriage.
303
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:37,280
- So you say!
- Mom, I'm telling you for the last time.
304
00:21:37,360 --> 00:21:40,560
Laura didn't even want to get married.
She's not that kind of girl.
305
00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:44,360
- That's not what happens now. Okay?
- Oh, I don't know what happens now.
306
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:48,080
Apart from you meet someone,
you move in, she goes!
307
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:50,800
You meet someone,
you move in, she goes!
308
00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:53,160
Shut up, Mom! God dam!
309
00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:56,000
That's some cold shit.
310
00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:02,920
John Dillinger was shot dead behind
that theatre in a hail of FBl gunfire.
311
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:06,520
You know who tipped'em off?
His fuckin' girlfriend.
312
00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:09,680
He just wanted to go to the movies.
313
00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:21,240
Is that Peter fucking Frampton?
314
00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:25,240
I wish I could buy words
315
00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:27,600
Out of season
316
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:31,680
So don't
317
00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:35,440
Don't hesitate
318
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:38,720
Cause our love
319
00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:41,880
Just won't wait
320
00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:48,240
Ooh, baby, I love your way
321
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:52,880
- Rob.
- Wanna tell you I love
- What?
322
00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:55,080
- Yeah. Hey.
- Your way
323
00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:57,920
- I always hated that song.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
324
00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:01,040
- Now I kinda like it.
- Wanna be with you night and day
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
325
00:23:01,120 --> 00:23:03,400
Yeah.
326
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:07,360
Cause I
327
00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:11,120
She should've done it on
The Number Four with a Smile.
328
00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:14,600
Wasn't her record called
Number Four with a Smile?
329
00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:17,080
- That's what I said.
- No, no. You said
"The Number Four with a Smile."
330
00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:19,000
There's no "The" at the front
of the title of the album.
331
00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:21,880
It's a reference to
a Chinese meal in Toronto...
332
00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:25,320
uh, so I think that there is "The,"
but I could be wrong.
333
00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:30,320
- You can be, and are, wrong.
- Wanna tell you I love your way
334
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:35,720
I wanna be with you
night and day
335
00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:39,440
I wanna date a musician.
336
00:23:39,560 --> 00:23:41,840
- 'Cause I
- I wanna live with a musician.
337
00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:45,080
- Feel that you
- She'd write songs at home
and ask me what I thought of 'em...
338
00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:48,640
and maybe even include one of our
private little jokes in the liner notes.
339
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:52,800
Maybe a little picture of me
in the liner notes.
340
00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:55,080
Just in the background somewhere.
341
00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:58,040
- Don't hesitate
- Yeah.
342
00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:10,240
- So, um, do you live in Chicago now?
- I do.
343
00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:12,920
Do you love it?
You should come to our record store.
344
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:14,640
- Championship Vinyl.
- Oh, my God, yes. Oh, you'd love it.
345
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:16,760
- We sell a little bit
of anything that matters.
- He owns it. It's on Milwaukee.
346
00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:20,720
- Rock, soul, trip-hop, salsa.
- Ska, techno and pop.
347
00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:22,000
- Will you come?
- Yeah, Marie.
- Okay, okay.
- Sounds good.
348
00:24:22,120 --> 00:24:24,000
- Championship Vinyl.
- Championship Vinyl.
- Enjoyed your set.
349
00:24:24,120 --> 00:24:26,480
Thank you.
350
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:29,320
- Barry, why'd you tell her
about the store, man?
- Oh, man, I'm sorry.
351
00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:31,440
I didn't know
it was classified information.
352
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:34,400
I mean, I know we don't have
any customers, but I thought
that was a bad thing...
353
00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:37,400
not, like, a business strategy.
354
00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:53,480
Rob? It's Liz.
355
00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:58,800
Just calling to see if,
you know, well, you're okay.
356
00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:04,040
Look, I'm your friend too,
so I'm not taking sides. Yet.
357
00:25:04,120 --> 00:25:08,720
- Shadows grow so long before my eyes
- Give me a call. Okay? Bye.
358
00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:39,840
- Hi.
- What are you doing here?
359
00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:42,360
- Took the morning off.
- Come on, Rob.
360
00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:45,160
Do you still love me?
361
00:25:47,360 --> 00:25:49,560
Well, it's not really the issue,
is it?
362
00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:53,280
Why? I mean, what else is there?
What do you mean? What else is there?
363
00:25:53,360 --> 00:25:58,440
I don't know. It doesn't change
the way we don't get along at all.
364
00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:01,240
In fact, I hope we're not
in love any more, to be honest.
365
00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:04,200
- It would give me a better
opinion of love right now.
- Come on!
366
00:26:04,280 --> 00:26:08,560
What, did I beat you?
Did I tell you were a bad person?
I mean, what the fuck?
367
00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:11,520
- What should I have done
to make you happy?
- Nothing. Make yourself happy.
368
00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:13,960
Oh, I see.
Um, wh-why am I not happy?
369
00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:19,440
Because you're the same person
you used to be...
370
00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:22,800
and I'm not.
371
00:26:22,880 --> 00:26:26,640
- And all I've done is change jobs.
- Clothes and hairstyles.
372
00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:30,000
- Attitudes and friends.
- I couldn't go to work
with my hair dyed pink.
373
00:26:30,120 --> 00:26:33,800
- You're harder.
- You haven't changed so much as
a pair of socks since I've known you.
374
00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:36,960
- Oh, come on, Laura.
Now you're just being stupid.
- At least you used to
talk about the future.
375
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:39,200
Now you don't even do that.
376
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:42,880
- Look, I'm all right.
You're the one that hates her job.
- See? You haven't got a clue.
377
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:45,280
I like my job.
378
00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:48,680
All I'm saying is, you have to allow
for things to happen to people...
379
00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:50,960
most of all to yourself.
380
00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:53,640
And you don't, Rob.
381
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:56,000
So what's the use?
382
00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:08,640
Rob, it's your turn.
383
00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:11,080
Okay, I'm feeling kinda basic today.
384
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:14,480
Top Five Side Ones, Track Ones.
385
00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:17,120
"Janie Jones," The Clash,
from The Clash.
386
00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:20,320
"Let's Get It On," Marvin Gaye,
from Let's Get It On."
387
00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:22,520
Nirvana, "Smells Like Teen Spirit,"
off of Never mind.
388
00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:24,760
Oh, no, Rob, that's not obvious enough.
Not at all.
389
00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:26,960
How about, uh, "Point of No Return"
on Point of No Return?
390
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:29,440
- Louis, you couldn't get up--
- Shut up. Shut up.
391
00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:32,520
- "White Light/White Heat,"
Velvet Underground.
- Okay, that would be on my list.
392
00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:35,600
- Though not on mine.
- And Massive Attack, No Protection.
393
00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:38,360
- The song is
"Radiation Ruling the Nation."
- Ohh!
394
00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:43,440
- Kind of a new record. Very--
- Excuse me. I was in here last night--
- In a minute. Very nice, Rob.
395
00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:47,560
A sly declaration of new classic status
slipped into a list of old safe ones.
396
00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:50,160
Very pussy.
397
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:51,880
- Excuse me, I was in here last--
- In a minute.
398
00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:55,320
Couldn't you be any more obvious
than that, Rob? How about, uh,
I don't know, the Beatles?
399
00:27:55,400 --> 00:28:00,400
How about fucking-- fucking Beethoven?
Track one, side one
of the Fifth Symphony.
400
00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:03,800
How can someone who has no interest
in music own a record store?
401
00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:07,080
Do you still have that, uh, Beefheart
French import, Safe as Milk?
402
00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:14,720
Um, let's see.
403
00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:17,240
Ah, yes, here it is.
404
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:22,560
Yes.
405
00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:27,080
- How much you want for it?
- Uh--
406
00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:31,000
Yes-- Oh, no.
You know what?
407
00:28:31,080 --> 00:28:34,920
- I don't think I'm selling it
this week. Maybe next week.
- Oh, no. You said that last week.
408
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:39,360
Did I? Yeah, well,
I just-- I-- Uh--
409
00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:41,680
Nicely played.
410
00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:44,160
You know, I don't have that record.
I'll buy it for 40.
411
00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:47,000
- Rob?
- Sold.
412
00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:50,360
- Now, why would you sell it to me
and not to him?
- Because you're not a geek, Louis.
413
00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:54,000
- You guys are snobs.
- No, we're not.
- No, seriously, you're totally elitist.
414
00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:58,480
You feel like the unappreciated
scholars, so you shit on the people
who know less than you.
415
00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:01,680
- No.
- Which is everybody.
- Yes.
416
00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:03,840
It's just sad, that's all.
417
00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:10,560
I'm sick of the sight of this place.
418
00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:13,000
Some days I'm afraid
I'll go berserk...
419
00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:14,920
throw the country "A" through "K" rack
out on the street...
420
00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:18,520
and go work at a Virgin Megastore
and never come back.
421
00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:25,200
- Hello.
- Hey, Liz.
- Hey, Rob.
422
00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:28,520
You know, just wanted to call
and thank you for that message
you sent me last night.
423
00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:31,560
It really made me feel
like less of an asshole.
424
00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:36,520
Oh. Well, how are you holding up?
425
00:29:36,640 --> 00:29:40,320
Good. Good. I mean, look, maybe we're
just not right for each other, right?
426
00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:42,560
- I mean, or maybe we are.
- Mmm. Yeah.
427
00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:46,720
Time will tell at this point,
and if it's time to move on,
it's time to move on.
428
00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:50,920
I don't know. I--
I don't want to take sides and--
429
00:29:51,040 --> 00:29:54,640
And I like you with Laura.
I think you guys are good together.
430
00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:58,040
And I don't think much
of this Ian guy.
431
00:29:59,640 --> 00:30:02,280
Rob, Marie De Salle
is in the store.
432
00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:07,320
I gotta go, Liz.
433
00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:13,920
- We should maybe turn off her music.
- I know.
434
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:16,360
Hey. I like the music.
435
00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:18,920
Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean,
I can go turn it off if you want.
436
00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:21,240
You might be sick of it.
437
00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:23,400
- You should turn it up.
- Oh, right, yeah.
- Yeah.
438
00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:27,400
Okay, let me go do that after I go
do something else that I have to go do.
439
00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:30,920
- All righty. Hmm.
- Yeah, I got the, uh-- Excuse me. Okay?
440
00:30:43,280 --> 00:30:46,240
What fucking Ian guy?
441
00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:50,400
Laura doesn't know anybody called Ian.
442
00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:54,840
There's no Ian in her office.
She has no friends called Ian!
443
00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:58,280
I'm almost certain she has never met
anyone named Ian in her entire life.
444
00:30:58,400 --> 00:31:00,120
She lives in an...
445
00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:03,600
"Ian-less" universe.
446
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:13,480
"I. Raymond."
447
00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:18,160
Ray. "I."
448
00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:20,360
Ian.
449
00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:25,400
Mr. I. Raymond. Ray to his friends,
and more importantly to his neighbor.
450
00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:28,360
The guy who, until about six weeks ago,
lived upstairs.
451
00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:30,600
I start to remember things
about him now.
452
00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:32,640
His horrible clothes and hair.
453
00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:36,760
His music: Latin, Bulgarian, whatever
world music was trendy that week.
454
00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:40,880
He had rings on his fingers.
Awful cooking smells.
455
00:31:40,960 --> 00:31:44,160
I never liked him much then,
and I fuckin' hate him now.
456
00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:58,640
We used to listen to him
having sex upstairs.
457
00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:12,480
Jeez, he goes on long enough.
458
00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:15,680
Mm-hmm.
I should be so lucky.
459
00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:32,320
It feels so good
460
00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:35,520
You are as abandoned and noisy
as any character in a porn film, Laura.
461
00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:40,160
You are Ian's plaything,
responding to his touch
with shrieks of orgasmic delight.
462
00:32:40,280 --> 00:32:45,120
No woman in the history of the world
is having better sex than
the sex you are having with Ian...
463
00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:46,320
in my head.
464
00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:50,680
Oh, baby, give it up
465
00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:52,880
Ain't no use
466
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:06,680
Number five: Jackie Alden.
467
00:33:06,760 --> 00:33:10,760
Jackie Alden's breakup had no effect
on my life whatsoever.
468
00:33:10,840 --> 00:33:13,200
It was a casual thing,
and I was glad when it ended.
469
00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:17,240
I just slotted her in
to bump Laura out of position.
470
00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:20,840
But now, congratulations, Laura.
471
00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:23,040
You made it to the top five.
472
00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:27,440
Number five with a bullet.
Welcome.
473
00:33:27,520 --> 00:33:31,800
Won't somebody please
474
00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:35,400
Help me with my misery
475
00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:40,840
- Can't somebody see
- Hey.
476
00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:42,720
Do you have soul?
477
00:33:42,800 --> 00:33:46,000
What this one love's done to me
478
00:33:46,120 --> 00:33:48,400
That all depends.
479
00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:52,560
- Now I know, I know
- Back row, right next to the blues.
480
00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:54,920
Championship Vinyl.
481
00:33:57,480 --> 00:33:59,680
Yeah. Yeah, I'm interested.
Sure.
482
00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:02,560
What's your address?
483
00:34:03,840 --> 00:34:06,400
- Hey, Liz.
- Hey, Rob.
484
00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:09,040
You fucking asshole!
485
00:34:13,240 --> 00:34:15,040
Hi, Barry.
486
00:34:16,320 --> 00:34:20,080
Soarin' and borin'
487
00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:24,160
I feel I'm ignorin'
488
00:34:24,240 --> 00:34:26,920
My time in the world
Have you heard
489
00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:31,880
For a couple of years
I was a deejay at a club.
490
00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:33,840
I was good at it, I think...
491
00:34:33,920 --> 00:34:36,720
and while I was doing it
is the happiest I've ever been.
492
00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:38,440
And that's where I met Laura.
493
00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:44,360
She was already a lawyer,
but she worked for Legal Aid...
494
00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:46,760
hence the leatherjacket
and the clubbing.
495
00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:48,480
Oh, I liked her right away.
496
00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:51,120
- Hey!
- Hey!
497
00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:54,480
- That's a kick-ass record.
- What?
498
00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:58,480
- That's a kick-ass record.
- Yeah. I know.
499
00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:04,960
- Um, what's your name?
- Laura.
500
00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:12,000
Hey. I was gonna say, come back
next week and I'll make you a tape.
501
00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:14,720
- All right. Thank you.
- Okay?
- Great.
502
00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:17,360
- Rob.
- I'm still Laura.
503
00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:23,200
To be honest, I hadn't met
anyone as promising as Laura
since I started deejaying...
504
00:35:23,280 --> 00:35:27,280
and meeting promising women
is kind of what the deejaying thing
is supposed to be about.
505
00:35:28,720 --> 00:35:32,920
And anyway, we--
we moved on from there.
506
00:35:33,040 --> 00:35:38,320
She lost her lease on her apartment
in Lakeview, and she moved in with me.
507
00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:42,080
And it stayed that way for years.
508
00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:45,720
She didn't make me miserable,
or anxious...
509
00:35:45,840 --> 00:35:47,720
or ill-at-ease.
510
00:35:47,840 --> 00:35:51,760
And you know, it sounds boring,
but it wasn't.
511
00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:55,400
It wasn't spectacular, either.
It was just...
512
00:35:57,400 --> 00:35:59,120
good.
513
00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:04,760
But really good.
514
00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:07,760
So, how come
I'm suddenly an asshole?
515
00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:18,800
I get the feeling
that Liz talked to Laura...
516
00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:21,840
and Liz stuck up for me...
517
00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:24,800
and Laura told her a few things.
518
00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:28,360
I don't know what precisely
Laura said, but she would have
revealed at least two,
519
00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:32,160
maybe even all four
of the following pieces of information.
520
00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:38,640
One: that I slept with someone else...
521
00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:41,800
- He slept with somebody else.
- What?
522
00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:44,480
while she, Laura, was pregnant.
523
00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:48,400
- While I was pregnant.
- No!
524
00:36:48,480 --> 00:36:50,760
Two:
525
00:36:50,880 --> 00:36:53,400
that my affair
directly contributed--
526
00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:56,600
Pretty much directly to me
terminating the pregnancy.
527
00:36:56,680 --> 00:36:59,360
- No.
- Three:
528
00:36:59,440 --> 00:37:03,480
that after the abortion, I borrowed
a large sum of money from her...
529
00:37:03,560 --> 00:37:07,240
- Four grand or so.
- and have not, as of yet,
repaid any of it.
530
00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:09,160
The bastard!
531
00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:11,000
Four:
532
00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:14,440
that shortly before she left me...
533
00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:18,400
I told her that I was kind of
unhappy in the relationship...
534
00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:22,680
and maybe sort of looking around
for someone else.
535
00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:25,880
He was "sort of, maybe"
looking around for somebody else.
536
00:37:25,960 --> 00:37:28,840
- Did I do and say those things?
- Yes.
537
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:31,560
- No!
- Yes, I did.
538
00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:34,920
I am a fuckin' asshole.
539
00:37:36,840 --> 00:37:39,200
- That's it.
- Liz-- No. Sit down.
540
00:37:39,320 --> 00:37:41,040
Sit down.
541
00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:44,640
That's shocking.
542
00:37:44,720 --> 00:37:46,600
That is shocking.
543
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:54,280
First of all, the money.
544
00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:57,000
Laura had it and I didn't.
545
00:37:57,080 --> 00:37:59,840
And she wanted to give it to me.
546
00:37:59,920 --> 00:38:04,440
I've never been able to pay her back
because I've never been able to.
547
00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:06,800
Just because she moved in
with some Supertramp fan...
548
00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:09,120
it doesn't make me
five grand richer.
549
00:38:09,240 --> 00:38:12,600
And number two, this stuff about me
half-looking around for someone else?
550
00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:14,560
She tricked me into saying it.
551
00:38:14,680 --> 00:38:16,800
We were having this State-of-the-Union
type conversation...
552
00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:19,960
and she said, quite matter of factly,
that we were pretty unhappy
at the moment.
553
00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:22,240
And did I agree?
And I said yes.
554
00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:26,480
And she asked me whether I ever
thought about meeting other people.
555
00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:29,400
So then I asked her if she ever
thought about meeting someone else.
556
00:38:29,480 --> 00:38:34,160
She says, "Of course." So I admit
that, yes, I daydream about it
from time to time.
557
00:38:34,240 --> 00:38:37,760
Now I can see what we were really
talking about is her and Ian...
558
00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:39,880
and she suckered me
into absolving her.
559
00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:43,840
It was a sneaky lawyer's trick
and I fell for it...
560
00:38:43,920 --> 00:38:46,800
because she's much smarter
than me.
561
00:38:51,200 --> 00:38:54,240
All right, then the pregnancy.
562
00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:58,480
I didn't know she was pregnant.
Of course I didn't.
563
00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:01,320
I didn't know
because she hadn't told me.
564
00:39:01,400 --> 00:39:06,520
She hadn't told me because
I had told her that I had sor--
Yes, I'd slept with someone else.
565
00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:09,720
So I didn't find out she was pregnant
till way later.
566
00:39:11,560 --> 00:39:15,160
We were going through this good period
and I made some crack about
having kids and--
567
00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:17,160
- What?
- and she just burst into tears.
568
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:19,080
And I said, "Well, what is it,"
you know. "What--"
569
00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:21,720
And I made her tell me,
and she did...
570
00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:25,080
and I went into
this brief and ill-advised bout
of self-righteousness, you know--
571
00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:28,800
What right do you have? My child too--
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
572
00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:35,680
That pretty much
brings us up to date.
573
00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:39,400
Who needs a drink?
574
00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:46,520
Who loves the sun
575
00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:49,640
Who cares that it makes
plants grow
576
00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:54,880
What's wrong with me?
Seriously.
577
00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:58,040
What happened?
578
00:39:58,160 --> 00:40:01,680
Why am I doomed to be left?
579
00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:04,080
Doomed to be rejected?
580
00:40:04,200 --> 00:40:06,480
I need answers.
581
00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:12,800
Number one.
To Alison Ashmore.
582
00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:17,120
- Hello?
- This is, uh, Rob Gordon calling.
583
00:40:17,240 --> 00:40:19,520
- Hi.
- I'm an old friend of Alison's and, um--
584
00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:22,560
- What did you say your name was?
- Rob. Rob Gordon.
585
00:40:22,680 --> 00:40:27,680
Um, I was actually her-- her first
boyfriend in-in-in the seventh grade...
586
00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:30,320
and I was just wondering
if you had any way of reaching her
or her number or--
587
00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:34,400
I hate to quibble with you, Rob,
but Alison married her first boyfriend.
588
00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:38,600
Kevin Bannister.
He is her first and last boyfriend.
589
00:40:38,720 --> 00:40:41,400
- You gotta be kidding me.
- Uh, no, I'm quite serious.
590
00:40:41,480 --> 00:40:45,240
She is Mrs. Kevin Bannister.
She lives in Australia.
591
00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:48,360
- We went out together
in the seventh grade.
- I beg your pardon.
592
00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:51,440
Well, technically,
I'm her first boyfriend, okay?
593
00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:54,480
I met her a few days before Kevin did.
Technically, number one. Me.
594
00:40:54,600 --> 00:40:57,880
- I don't know what you mean
by "technically."
- You know.
595
00:40:57,960 --> 00:41:00,080
I'm number one. Me. Technically.
596
00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:02,600
I see.
Well, maybe it's my mistake.
597
00:41:02,680 --> 00:41:05,720
I've got to go now, Bob.
Okay, bye-bye.
598
00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:12,360
Who loves the sun
599
00:41:12,440 --> 00:41:17,120
Alison married Kevin!
600
00:41:17,200 --> 00:41:20,480
I am fine now!
601
00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:22,560
Married her junior high school
sweetheart.
602
00:41:22,680 --> 00:41:26,440
Kissed me on the bench. Kissed Kevin
on the bench. Married Kevin.
603
00:41:26,560 --> 00:41:30,080
This is great!
This has got nothing to do with me.
604
00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:32,400
This is fate.
This is destiny.
605
00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:36,040
It is beyond my control,
beyond my fault. I love this!
606
00:41:39,440 --> 00:41:43,440
I want more. I want to see the others
on the big top five.
607
00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:46,560
I wanna see Penny and Charlie and Sarah,
all of them, you know.
608
00:41:46,640 --> 00:41:51,480
Just see'em and talk to'em,
you know, like a Bruce Springsteen song.
609
00:41:51,560 --> 00:41:54,920
You call, you ask'em how they are,
and you see if they've forgiven you.
610
00:41:55,040 --> 00:41:58,720
Yeah, and then--
and then I'd feel good.
611
00:41:58,800 --> 00:42:00,840
And they'd feel good.
612
00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:03,800
No, they'd feel good maybe,
but you'd feel better.
613
00:42:05,600 --> 00:42:08,560
I'd feel clean and calm.
614
00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:13,440
That's what you're looking for.
You wanna get ready to start again,
that'd be good for you.
615
00:42:13,520 --> 00:42:16,640
Great, even.
616
00:42:16,760 --> 00:42:21,880
You'd give that big final "good luck
and goodbye" to your all-time top five
and just move on down the road.
617
00:42:24,360 --> 00:42:26,640
Good luck. Goodbye.
618
00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:30,640
Thanks, Boss.
619
00:42:31,680 --> 00:42:35,600
Penny is as beautiful as she was in high
school and really grown into herself.
620
00:42:35,680 --> 00:42:38,440
She reviews movies for a living,
which is unassailably cool...
621
00:42:38,520 --> 00:42:42,640
even if she does make these little notes
with this little flashlight pen.
622
00:42:42,720 --> 00:42:47,640
We have a good time,
and we hate the same actors,
and everything's going great.
623
00:42:47,720 --> 00:42:50,280
She tells me about her life.
I tell her about mine.
624
00:42:50,360 --> 00:42:52,560
We both get it.
We both relate.
625
00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:56,920
And then, with no real explanation,
I just launch into it.
626
00:42:57,040 --> 00:42:59,400
I tell her about how Laura
wanted to sleep with Ian and not me...
627
00:42:59,520 --> 00:43:01,800
Charlie wanted to sleep with Marco
and not me...
628
00:43:01,880 --> 00:43:04,760
Alison Ashmore wanted Kevin Bannister
and not me.
629
00:43:04,840 --> 00:43:07,400
And you, you wanted to-- you wanted
to have sex with Chris Thompson...
630
00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:09,360
and not me.
631
00:43:09,480 --> 00:43:12,520
And I was helping--
hoping you could help me understand
why this keeps happening...
632
00:43:12,640 --> 00:43:16,640
why, you know, I'm doomed to be left,
doomed to be rejected.
633
00:43:16,720 --> 00:43:19,240
Do you understand?
634
00:43:19,320 --> 00:43:23,400
Well, Rob, uh, I was crazy about you.
635
00:43:23,480 --> 00:43:27,760
I wanted to sleep with you one day,
but not when I was 16.
636
00:43:27,880 --> 00:43:30,840
You know, when you broke up with me--
637
00:43:30,920 --> 00:43:33,800
you broke up with me
because I was, I was...
638
00:43:33,880 --> 00:43:36,000
to use your charming expression,
tight...
639
00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:37,960
I cried and I cried and I hated you...
640
00:43:38,040 --> 00:43:41,480
and when that little shit bag
asked me out and I was too tired
to fight him off...
641
00:43:41,600 --> 00:43:44,720
it wasn't rape, because I said okay,
but it wasn't far off.
642
00:43:44,840 --> 00:43:48,800
You know I couldn't have sex until after
college because I hated it so much?
643
00:43:48,880 --> 00:43:52,760
That's when you're supposed
to have sex, Rob-- in college!
644
00:43:52,840 --> 00:43:55,440
And now you want to have
a little chat about rejection.
645
00:43:55,520 --> 00:43:58,280
Well, fuck you, Rob.
646
00:44:02,920 --> 00:44:05,040
God, she's right.
647
00:44:05,160 --> 00:44:08,600
I broke up with her.
I rejected her.
648
00:44:08,720 --> 00:44:12,160
That's another one I don't have to worry
about. I should've done this years ago.
649
00:44:12,280 --> 00:44:14,640
Ma'am, could I get the cheque, please?
650
00:44:16,280 --> 00:44:18,560
Next up, Charlie.
651
00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:22,760
But I'm not quite ready for that...
652
00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:26,120
so I go directly to number four
on the all-time breakup list.
653
00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:29,400
Sarah, my partner in rejection
who rejected me.
654
00:44:30,880 --> 00:44:33,920
- Hi, Rob.
- Hi.
655
00:44:34,040 --> 00:44:36,560
Nice to see you.
656
00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:39,480
- Hi. Okay, yeah.
- Nice to see you.
657
00:44:39,560 --> 00:44:41,120
- Yeah.
- You want me to come--
- You wanna--
- Sure.
658
00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:43,800
- You wanna--
- Yeah.
- Yeah, let's go out a bit.
659
00:44:43,880 --> 00:44:46,320
I can't believe I left you for him.
660
00:44:46,440 --> 00:44:49,880
- Probably seemed like a good idea
at the time, Sarah.
- Yeah, I don't know why, though.
661
00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:57,560
- Are you seeing anybody?
- Um, no, yeah.
662
00:44:57,680 --> 00:44:59,640
- No?
- Yeah. I mean, I'm not--
- No.
663
00:44:59,720 --> 00:45:01,920
I-I-I am. I'm in between things.
How are you doin'?
664
00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:05,720
- Me? I'm not good.
- Really?
- No.
665
00:45:05,800 --> 00:45:09,320
Oh, it's so hard.
The medication I was on is not working.
666
00:45:09,440 --> 00:45:13,400
So we're trying something else,
but it's like, they don't know about it,
so I'm like a guinea pig, and--
667
00:45:13,480 --> 00:45:16,040
But I'm making money. That's good,
cause I lost my job a month ago.
668
00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:19,640
- So it's been, like, hand-to-mouth--
- No, I haven't got the heart
for the rejection conversation.
669
00:45:19,760 --> 00:45:22,960
There are no hard feelings here,
and I'm glad she ditched me
and not the other way around.
670
00:45:23,040 --> 00:45:24,840
I'm late for work, and I--
I'll call you.
671
00:45:24,920 --> 00:45:27,440
- Okay.
- Nice to see you. Bye.
- Bye. See you later.
672
00:45:30,960 --> 00:45:33,800
I could've wound up
having sex back there.
673
00:45:33,880 --> 00:45:38,640
And what better way to exorcise
rejection demons than to screw
the person who rejected you, right?
674
00:45:38,760 --> 00:45:40,640
But you wouldn't be sleeping
with a person.
675
00:45:40,760 --> 00:45:42,960
You'd be sleeping with a whole,
sad single-person culture.
676
00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:47,120
It'd be like sleeping with Talia Shire
in Rocky if you weren't Rocky.
677
00:45:47,200 --> 00:45:49,880
I feel guilty enough as it is.
678
00:45:49,960 --> 00:45:52,600
There's only Charlie left now.
679
00:45:54,680 --> 00:45:58,200
She's in the fuckin' phone book.
680
00:45:58,320 --> 00:46:01,440
She should be living on Neptune.
She's an extraterrestrial.
681
00:46:01,520 --> 00:46:04,640
A ghost, a myth,
not a person in a phone book.
682
00:46:10,680 --> 00:46:12,480
- Hi, this is Charlie.
- Answering machine.
683
00:46:12,600 --> 00:46:16,120
- Leave me a message--
- I'll leave a nice, polite message
and she'll never call back.
684
00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:21,000
Oh, the Killing Moon EP, it's almost
impossible to find, especially on CD.
685
00:46:21,120 --> 00:46:24,800
Yet another cruel trick
played on all the dumb-asses
who got rid of their turntables.
686
00:46:24,920 --> 00:46:27,800
- But every other
Echo and the Bunnymen album--
- Yeah, I have all the other ones.
687
00:46:27,920 --> 00:46:30,200
Oh, you do? Well, how about
the Jesus and Mary Chain?
688
00:46:30,280 --> 00:46:31,920
- Ah, they always seemed--
- They always seemed what?
689
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:33,880
They always seemed really great
is what they always seemed.
690
00:46:33,960 --> 00:46:37,400
They picked up where your precious Echo
left off, and you're sittin' around
complainin' about no more Echo albums.
691
00:46:37,480 --> 00:46:40,600
I can't believe you don't own
this fucking record. That's insane.
692
00:46:40,720 --> 00:46:42,600
Jesus!
693
00:46:42,760 --> 00:46:46,200
- Can I get two receipts with that?
- Well, the interesting thing
about Green Day...
694
00:46:46,280 --> 00:46:48,920
is that so much of their music is,
in truth...
695
00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:53,440
directly influenced by,
in my opinion, uh, two bands--
696
00:46:53,520 --> 00:46:55,080
- The Clash--
- The Clash.
697
00:46:55,200 --> 00:46:57,000
Uh, correct, uh, the Clash.
698
00:46:57,080 --> 00:47:02,000
Uh, but also by this band called,
uh, Stiff Little Fingers.
699
00:47:04,200 --> 00:47:08,640
Um, I think you would really
love this band.
700
00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:21,200
Uh, it sounds great.
701
00:47:24,240 --> 00:47:26,360
- My name's Anaugh.
- The name--
702
00:47:26,440 --> 00:47:28,400
Um, my name's Dick.
703
00:47:28,480 --> 00:47:31,600
Is this the new Green Day?
704
00:47:33,560 --> 00:47:37,560
You don't have it?
That is perverse.
705
00:47:37,640 --> 00:47:41,160
Don't tell anybody
you don't own fucking Blonde on Blonde.
706
00:47:42,480 --> 00:47:44,760
It's gonna be okay.
707
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:52,760
I will now sell five copies
of the three EPs by the Beta Band.
708
00:47:52,880 --> 00:47:55,240
Do it.
709
00:48:02,280 --> 00:48:05,400
If there's something inside
that you wanna say
710
00:48:05,520 --> 00:48:08,160
Say it loud
It'll be okay
711
00:48:08,240 --> 00:48:11,120
I will be all right
I will be all right
712
00:48:11,240 --> 00:48:14,200
I will be all right
I will be all right
713
00:48:14,320 --> 00:48:17,440
If there's something inside
that you wanna say
714
00:48:17,520 --> 00:48:20,160
- You can say it loud, it'll be okay
- Who is that?
715
00:48:20,240 --> 00:48:23,120
- It's the Beta Band.
- It's good.
716
00:48:23,200 --> 00:48:24,760
I know.
717
00:48:33,400 --> 00:48:35,200
- Barry! The door!
- Fuck!
718
00:48:35,320 --> 00:48:37,600
- Go! Go! Go!
- Go, go, go, go!
719
00:48:40,280 --> 00:48:42,640
- Gotta go back!
- Hey!
720
00:48:42,760 --> 00:48:47,760
Okay, fuckos, how much is this deck
worth to you, and how much
did you steal? Can you do the math?
721
00:48:47,840 --> 00:48:51,200
- Barry, call the cops.
- No!
- Hold up, hold up.
722
00:48:54,680 --> 00:49:00,920
Ryuichi Sakamoto, Sigue Sigue Sputnik,
Breakbeats, Serge Gainsbourg.
723
00:49:01,040 --> 00:49:03,640
- What, are you guys
stealing for other people?
- No, those are for us.
724
00:49:03,720 --> 00:49:06,280
- You guys slamming to Joni Mitchell now?
- Man, you're, like, so bigoted.
725
00:49:06,360 --> 00:49:09,800
- You look at us and think you know
what we listen to.
- I think you have more.
726
00:49:09,920 --> 00:49:11,560
Okay.
727
00:49:29,720 --> 00:49:32,560
Hi.
728
00:49:32,640 --> 00:49:36,400
- What do you want?
- I thought I could
give you a ride back.
729
00:49:39,240 --> 00:49:42,360
- Are you coming home?
- Yeah.
730
00:49:42,440 --> 00:49:46,360
Well, I'd like to come over
to your house to pick up some things.
731
00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:51,640
My house.
732
00:49:58,880 --> 00:50:01,840
How'd it go today?
733
00:50:01,960 --> 00:50:04,000
All right.
734
00:50:04,120 --> 00:50:07,000
- Do you want to go?
- Sure.
735
00:50:19,080 --> 00:50:22,680
So, have you tackled
the great reorganization yet?
736
00:50:22,760 --> 00:50:27,280
You bet. You can take this
with you if you want.
737
00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:31,360
Look at this place.
Laura, it's a dump.
738
00:50:31,480 --> 00:50:34,280
What are you making now?
Sixty, seventy a year?
739
00:50:34,360 --> 00:50:36,240
And you were living
in this shithole.
740
00:50:36,360 --> 00:50:39,160
Bet you can't even remember
what you were doing here.
741
00:50:39,240 --> 00:50:41,960
I was here because
I wanted to be with you.
742
00:50:42,080 --> 00:50:44,360
It had nothing
to do with this place.
743
00:50:44,440 --> 00:50:48,320
So, uh, where are you staying now?
744
00:50:48,440 --> 00:50:50,880
I think you know that.
745
00:50:50,960 --> 00:50:54,000
- I had to work that out
for myself, though, didn't I?
- I'm sorry.
746
00:50:54,080 --> 00:50:56,640
I know I haven't been very fair.
747
00:50:56,720 --> 00:50:59,600
That's why I came
to the store tonight.
748
00:50:59,680 --> 00:51:02,480
It took me a while
to work up the courage.
749
00:51:02,560 --> 00:51:05,760
- You scared now?
- Yes, of course I am.
750
00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:08,320
I feel terrible, Rob.
You know, this is really hard.
751
00:51:08,440 --> 00:51:11,040
Good.
752
00:51:11,120 --> 00:51:15,800
So how is everything
going with Ian?
753
00:51:15,920 --> 00:51:18,640
Is it working out okay?
754
00:51:18,720 --> 00:51:20,600
- You're living with the guy.
- Don't.
755
00:51:20,720 --> 00:51:22,760
I'm just asking you how it's going.
756
00:51:22,840 --> 00:51:25,280
Look, I'm not living
with the guy, okay?
757
00:51:25,360 --> 00:51:29,120
I'm just staying with him for a few days
until I figure out what I'm doing.
758
00:51:29,200 --> 00:51:33,480
I left because we weren't
exactly getting along,
and we weren't talking about it.
759
00:51:33,560 --> 00:51:35,440
I'm getting to a point where
I want to get my shit together...
760
00:51:35,560 --> 00:51:39,320
and I can't really see that
ever happening with you.
761
00:51:39,400 --> 00:51:42,520
And, yes, I sort of got
interested in someone else.
762
00:51:42,640 --> 00:51:46,680
And that went further
than it should have, so it seemed
like a good time to go.
763
00:51:48,320 --> 00:51:51,920
But I have no idea what will happen
with Ian in the long run.
764
00:51:53,840 --> 00:51:55,960
Probably nothing.
765
00:52:01,120 --> 00:52:04,240
So, what?
766
00:52:04,320 --> 00:52:08,000
You definitely haven't
decided to dump me? Is that it?
767
00:52:08,120 --> 00:52:10,320
There's still a chance
we might get back together?
768
00:52:10,400 --> 00:52:14,440
- I don't know.
- Well, if you don't know...
769
00:52:16,600 --> 00:52:18,240
there's a chance, right?
770
00:52:21,600 --> 00:52:26,040
I mean, it would be like
if someone was in the hospital
and he was seriously ill...
771
00:52:26,120 --> 00:52:29,240
and the doctor said,
"I don't know if this patient
has a chance of survival or not."
772
00:52:29,320 --> 00:52:32,520
That doesn't mean that the patient's
definitely gonna die now, does it?
I mean, he might live.
773
00:52:32,600 --> 00:52:34,800
- Even if it's a remote possibility.
- I suppose so.
774
00:52:34,880 --> 00:52:36,360
- So we have a chance of not--
- Shut up, Rob.
775
00:52:36,440 --> 00:52:38,640
- I just want to know where I stand here.
What chance do we have?
- What--
776
00:52:38,760 --> 00:52:42,640
- I don't know what chance we have.
- If you could tell me roughly-
777
00:52:44,120 --> 00:52:46,320
All right, we have a nine percent chance
of getting back together.
778
00:52:46,400 --> 00:52:48,440
- Nine?
- Nine.
779
00:52:48,560 --> 00:52:51,080
- Great.
- Look, I know I'm asking a lot...
780
00:52:51,160 --> 00:52:53,680
but could you take off for a while
so I can get my stuff packed up?
781
00:52:53,760 --> 00:52:55,160
No problem.
782
00:52:55,240 --> 00:52:58,600
- You want me to leave my own house?
- Yes, please.
783
00:53:02,320 --> 00:53:06,680
Laura, can I ask you one question?
784
00:53:06,800 --> 00:53:09,360
Yes. One.
785
00:53:10,480 --> 00:53:13,520
- You're not gonna like it.
- Just ask it.
786
00:53:16,920 --> 00:53:20,880
- Is it better?
- Is what better? Better than what?
787
00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:26,440
Well, sex, I guess. Is it better?
788
00:53:26,520 --> 00:53:30,960
- Is that really what's bothering you?
- Yes. Yes, of course.
789
00:53:32,160 --> 00:53:34,200
Do you really think
it would make a difference either way?
790
00:53:34,280 --> 00:53:37,560
- I don't know.
- Well, the answer is,
I don't know either.
791
00:53:37,640 --> 00:53:39,120
We haven't done it yet.
792
00:53:41,480 --> 00:53:45,360
- Never?
- I haven't felt like it.
793
00:53:45,480 --> 00:53:47,200
Not even before,
when he was living upstairs?
794
00:53:47,320 --> 00:53:51,600
No. I was living
with you, remember?
795
00:53:51,680 --> 00:53:54,400
We've slept together,
but we haven't made love.
796
00:53:56,440 --> 00:53:58,320
Not yet.
797
00:54:00,280 --> 00:54:02,400
- I'll tell you one thing.
- What?
798
00:54:04,320 --> 00:54:06,880
Sleeping together is better.
799
00:54:07,920 --> 00:54:10,040
Sleeping together is better?
800
00:54:10,120 --> 00:54:13,960
But not the sex, because
you haven't done it yet?
801
00:54:14,040 --> 00:54:16,560
- Will you please just go?
- Yeah.
802
00:54:16,720 --> 00:54:19,920
We are the champions
803
00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:23,520
- My friends
- Yes!
804
00:54:23,600 --> 00:54:27,360
- And we'll keep on fighting
- Put'em up!
805
00:54:27,480 --> 00:54:31,160
- Till the end
- I feel good. I feel great.
806
00:54:31,240 --> 00:54:34,520
- We are the champions
- I feel like a new man.
807
00:54:34,600 --> 00:54:36,640
- I feel so much better, in fact...
- We are the champions
808
00:54:36,720 --> 00:54:41,320
- that I go straight out
and sleep with Marie De Salle.
- No time for losers
809
00:54:41,440 --> 00:54:46,120
Cause we are the champions
810
00:54:48,760 --> 00:54:52,520
"How could this have happened?"
you ask.
811
00:54:52,600 --> 00:54:56,480
"How does he--
How does he do it?"
812
00:54:57,440 --> 00:55:01,800
How does a regular guy like me
become the number one lover man
in his particular postal district?
813
00:55:01,880 --> 00:55:06,240
He's grumpy. He's broke. He hangs out
with the musical moron twins...
814
00:55:06,360 --> 00:55:10,400
and yet he gets to go to bed
with somebody like Marie De Salle.
815
00:55:10,480 --> 00:55:13,520
Hey. Marie.
816
00:55:14,840 --> 00:55:16,320
- Everything go all right?
- Yeah, yeah.
817
00:55:16,440 --> 00:55:20,040
She just wanted to pick up some stuff,
you know. It was no big deal.
It was just--
818
00:55:20,160 --> 00:55:23,600
I hate that time,
picking-up-stuff time.
819
00:55:23,680 --> 00:55:27,560
- You know that song I play,
"Eartha Kitt Times Two"?
- Of course!
820
00:55:27,680 --> 00:55:30,640
I wrote that about me and my ex
dividing our record collection.
821
00:55:30,760 --> 00:55:33,640
It's a great, great song.
822
00:55:33,720 --> 00:55:35,840
- A while back,
Dick, Barry and I agreed....
- I wrote that just before I moved here.
823
00:55:35,960 --> 00:55:38,840
that what really matters
is what you like...
824
00:55:38,920 --> 00:55:41,360
not what you are like.
825
00:55:41,480 --> 00:55:43,440
Books, records, films--
These things matter.
826
00:55:43,520 --> 00:55:46,320
Call me shallow.
It's the fuckin' truth.
827
00:55:46,400 --> 00:55:49,520
And by this measure, I was having
one of the best dates of my life.
828
00:55:49,600 --> 00:55:51,880
- You love that show?
- Yes!
829
00:55:52,000 --> 00:55:54,200
Starring, um-- Starring, um--
Who starred in The Prisoner?
830
00:55:54,280 --> 00:55:56,560
- McGoohan.
- Patrick McGoohan.
- That's right!
831
00:55:56,640 --> 00:56:00,520
And then we talk about our exes.
832
00:56:00,640 --> 00:56:04,080
She's dry and self-deprecating.
833
00:56:04,200 --> 00:56:07,240
Great sense of humour about it,
and I can really see why
her songs are so good.
834
00:56:07,360 --> 00:56:11,400
- I guess she's happy with him.
- I don't speak about Laura
with as much depth.
835
00:56:11,480 --> 00:56:14,520
But it feels, even to me,
like I'm being intimate.
836
00:56:14,600 --> 00:56:17,480
I express regret.
I say nice things about her...
837
00:56:17,600 --> 00:56:23,200
and I hint at a deep ocean of melancholy
just below the surface...
838
00:56:23,320 --> 00:56:25,440
which is all bullshit really.
839
00:56:25,560 --> 00:56:29,160
I've just invented a sketch
of a decent, sensitive guy...
840
00:56:29,280 --> 00:56:31,880
because I'm in the position
to invent him.
841
00:56:31,960 --> 00:56:35,560
And I guess all that charming,
nervous stuff seems to work somehow...
842
00:56:35,640 --> 00:56:39,320
because we get
back to her house and...
843
00:56:39,440 --> 00:56:41,640
Throw my suitcase out there too
844
00:56:41,760 --> 00:56:43,720
it just happens.
845
00:56:46,360 --> 00:56:50,120
- Throw my covers out the door
- And then we make love. It's great.
846
00:56:50,200 --> 00:56:53,400
- I don't need them any more
- And that's it. I'm not gonna go
into all that other stuff.
847
00:56:53,480 --> 00:56:55,440
You know, the
who-did-what-to-whom stuff.
848
00:56:55,520 --> 00:56:58,320
You know that song
"Behind Closed Doors" by Charlie Rich?
849
00:56:58,400 --> 00:57:01,040
It's one of my favorite songs.
850
00:57:01,120 --> 00:57:05,000
- I can say we had a good time.
I can say that.
- Should I have left this town
851
00:57:05,120 --> 00:57:07,400
Marie's a terrific woman.
852
00:57:07,520 --> 00:57:10,560
But it was more than I could do
853
00:57:10,640 --> 00:57:13,920
And then in the morning--
854
00:57:14,040 --> 00:57:16,680
You didn't have me fooled...
855
00:57:16,760 --> 00:57:22,200
acting all cool
about, um, what's-her-name.
856
00:57:22,280 --> 00:57:26,880
- Laura.
- Laura, right, right. Laura.
857
00:57:28,280 --> 00:57:32,960
- What was yours called again?
- It was called James.
858
00:57:33,040 --> 00:57:34,920
- James.
- James.
859
00:57:35,040 --> 00:57:37,480
Do you miss him?
860
00:57:38,760 --> 00:57:43,040
Yeah. That's how it works, right?
861
00:57:44,240 --> 00:57:48,440
I think it's okay if you feel horny
and fucked up at the same time.
862
00:57:48,560 --> 00:57:50,600
I mean, why should we be denied
our basic human rights...
863
00:57:50,720 --> 00:57:53,760
just' cause we messed up
our relationships?
864
00:57:53,840 --> 00:57:55,720
You think sex
is a basic human right?
865
00:57:55,840 --> 00:57:58,480
Hell, yeah! Yeah.
866
00:58:00,040 --> 00:58:04,320
I'm not gonna let that asshole
come between me and a fuck.
867
00:58:07,160 --> 00:58:10,600
- Which way are you going?
- That way. You?
868
00:58:10,680 --> 00:58:13,040
- That way.
- Ah, so it is.
869
00:58:18,320 --> 00:58:21,360
- Talk to ya.
- I'll call you.
870
00:58:22,680 --> 00:58:25,040
Right.
871
00:58:27,680 --> 00:58:31,280
What did Laura mean last night when she
said, "I haven't slept with him yet"?
872
00:58:31,400 --> 00:58:34,440
Yet! What does "yet" mean anyway?
873
00:58:34,520 --> 00:58:37,800
It means you're gonna do it,
doesn't it? Or does it?
874
00:58:37,920 --> 00:58:40,720
Just come on. What would it mean
to you, that sentence:
875
00:58:40,800 --> 00:58:43,440
"I haven't seen Evil Dead 2 yet"?
876
00:58:43,560 --> 00:58:46,280
Well, to me it would mean that
you're a liar. You've seen it twice.
877
00:58:46,360 --> 00:58:49,320
Once with Laura-- oops--
and once with me and Dick, remember?
878
00:58:49,400 --> 00:58:53,160
We had that conversation about
the guy making Beretta shotgun ammo
off-screen in the 14th century.
879
00:58:53,280 --> 00:58:55,240
Right. All right, but let's
just say that I hadn't seen it...
880
00:58:55,360 --> 00:58:58,640
and I said to you, "I haven't seen Evil
Dead 2 yet," what would you think?
881
00:58:58,720 --> 00:59:02,160
I'd think that you're a cinematic idiot,
and I'd feel sorry for you.
882
00:59:02,280 --> 00:59:07,280
All right. But from that one sentence,
would you think that
I was going to see it?
883
00:59:07,360 --> 00:59:09,240
I'm sorry, Rob.
I'm struggling here.
884
00:59:09,360 --> 00:59:12,000
You're asking me
what would I think if you told me...
885
00:59:12,120 --> 00:59:14,320
you hadn't seen a film
that you have already seen.
886
00:59:14,400 --> 00:59:16,360
- What am I supposed to say?
- Just listen to me. If I said to you--
887
00:59:16,480 --> 00:59:19,840
"I haven't seen Evil Dead 2 yet," yes.
888
00:59:19,960 --> 00:59:22,160
Would you get the impression
that I really wanted to see it?
889
00:59:22,240 --> 00:59:24,520
Oh, uh, well...
890
00:59:24,640 --> 00:59:27,760
you couldn't have been desperate to see
it, otherwise you'd have already gone.
891
00:59:27,880 --> 00:59:30,000
Right. I'm not gonna see that movie.
892
00:59:33,480 --> 00:59:37,600
But the word "yet."
Yeah, you know what?
893
00:59:37,680 --> 00:59:40,040
I get the impression
that you wanted to see it...
894
00:59:40,120 --> 00:59:43,480
otherwise you'd have said
you didn't want to go.
895
00:59:43,560 --> 00:59:45,440
But in your opinion,
would I definitely go?
896
00:59:45,560 --> 00:59:48,080
How the fuck am I supposed
to know? Probably.
897
00:59:48,160 --> 00:59:50,520
- Why?
- Because it's a brilliant film.
898
00:59:50,600 --> 00:59:55,200
It's so funny and violent,
and the soundtrack kicks fucking ass.
899
00:59:56,840 --> 00:59:59,960
I never thought I'd say this,
but can I go work now?
900
01:00:00,080 --> 01:00:03,200
Look, Laura, if you don't
want me to call you at work,
then give me your home number.
901
01:00:03,280 --> 01:00:05,160
Oh, I forgot. You can't.
902
01:00:05,280 --> 01:00:08,480
I'm not gonna get off this phone
until you agree to meet me for a drink.
903
01:00:08,600 --> 01:00:10,880
I mean, I'm sorry, but I don't just see
why this has to be on your terms...
904
01:00:11,000 --> 01:00:12,400
- all the time.
- Okay.
905
01:00:12,480 --> 01:00:15,840
- I mean, really.
- Okay! Okay. We'll meet then tonight.
906
01:00:15,960 --> 01:00:19,560
That'd-- That'd be great if you're
not too busy. It'll be really good to...
907
01:00:19,640 --> 01:00:21,200
see you.
908
01:00:34,040 --> 01:00:35,920
So how are you?
909
01:00:36,040 --> 01:00:38,000
Have you slept with him yet?
910
01:00:41,080 --> 01:00:44,600
- Is that why you wanted to see me?
- I guess.
911
01:00:46,680 --> 01:00:48,800
What do you want me to say?
912
01:00:48,920 --> 01:00:54,280
I want you to say you haven't,
and I want that to be the truth.
913
01:00:55,360 --> 01:00:56,760
I can't do that.
914
01:01:21,360 --> 01:01:25,480
Say a word for Jimmy Brown
915
01:01:27,080 --> 01:01:30,440
He ain't got nothin'at all
916
01:01:34,360 --> 01:01:38,800
You must have known it would happen.
You couldn't have been
entirely unprepared.
917
01:01:38,920 --> 01:01:43,680
Like you said, I've been living
with the guy. We were bound
to get around to it sometime.
918
01:01:45,160 --> 01:01:48,760
Rob, are you there?
What are you thinking?
919
01:01:51,520 --> 01:01:54,120
We can meet for another drink
if you want.
920
01:01:54,200 --> 01:01:56,640
So I can explain it better.
I owe you that much.
921
01:01:56,720 --> 01:01:58,920
I don't have your number.
922
01:01:59,000 --> 01:02:02,120
You know, I don't want this to be
the last conversation we have.
I know what you're like.
923
01:02:02,240 --> 01:02:03,720
You do, huh?
924
01:02:09,400 --> 01:02:11,600
I need a second opinion.
925
01:02:16,960 --> 01:02:18,920
Hi, this is Tim.
City and state, please.
926
01:02:19,000 --> 01:02:22,520
Uh, Chicago. A residence.
Mr. Ian Raymond.
927
01:02:22,600 --> 01:02:24,480
- Please hold for that number.
- May I also have that address?
928
01:02:24,600 --> 01:02:26,400
- Certainly.
- Thank you.
929
01:02:59,760 --> 01:03:02,960
- Rob?
- Laura, I just want to say something.
930
01:03:03,040 --> 01:03:06,400
I think you're running.
You're running from a, a sharp point...
931
01:03:06,480 --> 01:03:09,680
that anybody hits in any relationship,
and it's just gonna happen again.
932
01:03:09,800 --> 01:03:13,240
But it's gonna be with this guy
Ian, later, when you're older.
933
01:03:13,360 --> 01:03:15,800
All right? With a guy
with a Steven Seagal ponytail.
934
01:03:15,920 --> 01:03:19,800
You know what I'm saying?
And-And he doesn't love you.
935
01:03:19,880 --> 01:03:22,320
And he doesn't understand you,
not the way I will.
936
01:03:22,400 --> 01:03:25,680
And I will even more so
in the future. And--
937
01:03:31,480 --> 01:03:33,040
I mean, if you want
to experiment or whatever--
938
01:03:33,120 --> 01:03:35,680
I'm not experimenting.
Why don't you go experiment?
939
01:03:35,760 --> 01:03:38,960
- Laura, are you okay?
- Uh, yeah, I'm fine.
940
01:03:39,080 --> 01:03:44,520
- Is that him?
- Look, can you-- Can you call me
at work? I gotta go now.
941
01:03:46,480 --> 01:03:49,360
- You look upset.
- Yeah, I'm-- I'm upset...
942
01:03:49,440 --> 01:03:51,320
but I'm fine.
943
01:03:51,440 --> 01:03:54,480
- Maybe I should talk to him.
- No, I don't think that's a good idea.
944
01:03:54,560 --> 01:03:57,360
- Conflict resolution is my job.
- Yeah, I know.
945
01:03:57,440 --> 01:04:00,800
But-- But, Ian, there's really
nothing to resolve, but thank you.
946
01:04:05,720 --> 01:04:09,600
You have got to stop calling her.
You're really upsetting her and him!
947
01:04:09,720 --> 01:04:12,280
- Like I care about him.
- Well, you should.
948
01:04:12,360 --> 01:04:16,480
- Why?
- Because all you're doing is forming
a little unit. Them against you!
949
01:04:16,560 --> 01:04:19,920
Before you started all this
psychotic madness, there was no unit.
950
01:04:20,000 --> 01:04:22,040
There was just
three people in a mess.
951
01:04:22,120 --> 01:04:25,080
But now they've got
something in common.
952
01:04:25,200 --> 01:04:27,080
And you don't want
to make anything worse.
953
01:04:27,200 --> 01:04:29,240
How could it get any worse
than Laura with Ian?
954
01:04:29,320 --> 01:04:32,360
- Come on, Liz.
- Rob, Rob, Rob.
955
01:04:32,440 --> 01:04:35,720
Can I ask you a question? And you can
think about it if you want to.
956
01:04:35,840 --> 01:04:38,400
Just what is it?
957
01:04:38,480 --> 01:04:41,200
Why do you want Laura back
so badly?
958
01:04:46,120 --> 01:04:47,600
Rob, phone.
959
01:04:47,720 --> 01:04:51,160
I was walking on the water
when I saw a crocodile
960
01:04:51,240 --> 01:04:54,600
Barry, that fucking pricer's busted,
and I'm not the one who broke it.
961
01:04:54,680 --> 01:04:56,160
- Hello.
- Rob?
962
01:04:59,440 --> 01:05:01,320
Who is this?
963
01:05:03,400 --> 01:05:05,280
Is this Ch-- Is this Charlie?
964
01:05:08,680 --> 01:05:10,640
Hi. I just got back into town.
965
01:05:12,240 --> 01:05:15,680
Wow! Rob Gordon. The Rob Gordon.
966
01:05:15,760 --> 01:05:19,360
So how are you doing? Huh?
Does it seem like millions of years ago?
967
01:05:19,480 --> 01:05:23,160
Yeah, yeah.
Like a billion, right?
968
01:05:23,280 --> 01:05:26,640
So, uh-- God, Charlie Nicholson.
How are you?
969
01:05:26,720 --> 01:05:29,840
I mean, do you have kids
and stuff like everybody else?
970
01:05:29,920 --> 01:05:33,520
No. No, I'm too young,
too single. I don't know.
971
01:05:33,640 --> 01:05:37,320
Kids are too time-consuming, I guess,
is the expression I'm looking for.
972
01:05:37,400 --> 01:05:39,520
I'm not making this up. This is how
she talks-- as if nobody ever had...
973
01:05:39,640 --> 01:05:42,440
a conversation about having kids
in the entire history of the world.
974
01:05:42,520 --> 01:05:44,000
She's incredible.
975
01:05:44,120 --> 01:05:47,960
So, anyway,
are you in or out, Rob?
976
01:05:48,040 --> 01:05:50,080
- I'm sorry?
- Well, you know-- I don't know.
977
01:05:50,200 --> 01:05:52,920
I just find these long-lost
boyfriend calls a little unnerving.
978
01:05:53,040 --> 01:05:55,680
- There's been a rash of them recently.
- Is that right?
979
01:05:55,800 --> 01:06:01,000
Yeah. Oh, remember Marco?
I went out with him after you.
980
01:06:01,120 --> 01:06:03,400
- Kind of.
- Kind of, yeah.
981
01:06:03,480 --> 01:06:05,680
Well, he called
a few months ago.
982
01:06:05,800 --> 01:06:08,840
I think he was
going through one of those
what-does-it-all-mean kind of things.
983
01:06:08,920 --> 01:06:12,040
He wanted to see me
and "rehash the past, "as they say.
984
01:06:12,160 --> 01:06:17,160
God. Was I up for that? No. No.
So-- I don't know--
985
01:06:17,240 --> 01:06:20,440
- Do all men go through that?
- I've never heard of it before.
986
01:06:20,520 --> 01:06:23,640
I'm sorry, Charlie, but what
does "Are you in or out" mean?
987
01:06:23,760 --> 01:06:26,400
Well, it means,
are we friends or aren't we?
988
01:06:26,520 --> 01:06:29,120
Because if we are,
that's great. That's great.
989
01:06:29,200 --> 01:06:33,080
But if we're not,
I don't really want to spend time
playing catch-up on the phone.
990
01:06:33,200 --> 01:06:35,760
You know what I mean?
I'm just really busy, you know?
991
01:06:35,840 --> 01:06:38,280
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Sure, sure. Of course.
992
01:06:38,400 --> 01:06:41,680
- So, are you in or out, Rob?
- I'm in. I'm in. I'm in.
993
01:06:41,760 --> 01:06:46,360
Oh, yeah? Great. Do you want to come
for a dinner party tomorrow night?
994
01:06:48,880 --> 01:06:53,400
Have you ever watched a moonbeam
995
01:06:53,520 --> 01:06:55,240
Can I help you?
996
01:06:55,360 --> 01:06:59,480
- As it slide across your windowpane
- Hello, Rob.
997
01:06:59,560 --> 01:07:04,320
Remember me? Ray. Ian.
998
01:07:05,680 --> 01:07:08,800
I thought maybe we should talk.
You know, sort things out.
999
01:07:08,920 --> 01:07:11,800
- What needs sorting out?
- Ten phone calls a night.
1000
01:07:11,880 --> 01:07:14,920
Hanging around outside my house.
1001
01:07:15,000 --> 01:07:18,880
- I've stopped all of that now.
- You were there this morning.
1002
01:07:22,040 --> 01:07:27,320
Obviously, I know how special
Laura is, and I know how...
1003
01:07:27,440 --> 01:07:31,560
much pain you must be
going through right now.
1004
01:07:31,680 --> 01:07:33,880
I would hate it if I lost her.
1005
01:07:33,960 --> 01:07:37,480
Oh. Guess who?
1006
01:07:37,560 --> 01:07:40,920
But I'd like to believe
that if she decided...
1007
01:07:41,000 --> 01:07:43,040
that she didn't want
to see me any more that...
1008
01:07:43,160 --> 01:07:45,600
I would respect those wishes.
1009
01:07:45,720 --> 01:07:48,360
You know what I'm saying, G?
1010
01:07:48,480 --> 01:07:50,360
- Yeah.
- Good.
1011
01:07:50,480 --> 01:07:52,440
So shall we leave it
at that then?
1012
01:07:52,520 --> 01:07:56,480
I've already left it,
you pathetic rebound fuck!
1013
01:07:56,560 --> 01:08:00,840
Now, get your patchouli stink
out of my store!
1014
01:08:00,960 --> 01:08:02,920
Move it, lard-ass!
1015
01:08:04,320 --> 01:08:06,280
Dumb motherfucker.
1016
01:08:06,400 --> 01:08:09,200
So, um, shall we
leave it at that then?
1017
01:08:09,280 --> 01:08:12,320
- Tsk. No.
- Don't! Don't!
1018
01:08:12,440 --> 01:08:14,320
- He's not worth it!
- Leave town!
1019
01:08:14,440 --> 01:08:16,880
Leave the country!
You little bitch!
1020
01:08:16,960 --> 01:08:21,560
Cause you'll look back at ten
phone calls a night as the golden age!
1021
01:08:21,640 --> 01:08:23,600
Get ready, motherfucker!
1022
01:08:23,680 --> 01:08:26,040
So shall we leave it
at that then?
1023
01:08:30,440 --> 01:08:32,400
Get him!
1024
01:08:42,080 --> 01:08:45,840
- Come on! Get him!
- Get him, man!
1025
01:08:45,920 --> 01:08:49,960
- Have you ever watched a moonbeam
- Well, think about it, Rob.
1026
01:08:50,040 --> 01:08:52,320
Okay?
1027
01:08:52,440 --> 01:08:57,800
As it slide across
your windowpane
1028
01:09:13,960 --> 01:09:16,400
Hey, jelly bean.
1029
01:09:16,520 --> 01:09:18,400
Charles.
1030
01:09:19,680 --> 01:09:22,280
- How are you?
- Good. How are you?
1031
01:09:23,600 --> 01:09:26,120
Actually, it's hilarious.
It's hilarious.
1032
01:09:26,200 --> 01:09:29,480
Hey, everybody!
Everybody, this is Rob.
1033
01:09:29,600 --> 01:09:31,800
Rob, this is everybody.
1034
01:09:31,920 --> 01:09:33,800
- Hi.
- Hi.
1035
01:09:33,920 --> 01:09:36,040
- Come on in. Make yourself at home.
Is that for me?
- Yeah.
1036
01:09:36,160 --> 01:09:38,440
- Oh, it's a little warm.
I'll put it in the fridge.
- I think if you get a dog...
1037
01:09:38,520 --> 01:09:41,040
- you've got to raise it yourself.
- Your place doesn't have a yard,
does it?
1038
01:09:41,120 --> 01:09:44,400
- You got to deal with a dog
from day one.
- Of course you do.
1039
01:09:44,480 --> 01:09:47,600
- You gotta take care of it,
raise it--
- Yeah, but--
1040
01:09:47,720 --> 01:09:50,000
- Do you want a drink?
- Yeah, I would.
1041
01:09:50,080 --> 01:09:52,440
I can see now
that I'm doomed to die...
1042
01:09:52,560 --> 01:09:57,680
a long, slow suffocating death,
and I try to figure out why.
1043
01:09:57,760 --> 01:10:00,720
Of course there's envy.
Why isn't my life like this?
1044
01:10:00,840 --> 01:10:05,120
Sure, I want their money and
clothes and jobs and opinions.
1045
01:10:05,240 --> 01:10:07,680
And I'd like to have advice
on jet lag, but that's not it.
1046
01:10:07,760 --> 01:10:10,560
I mean, they're not bad people,
and I'm not a class warrior.
It's something else.
1047
01:10:10,680 --> 01:10:14,440
- I never did. I never did.
And I was very supportive--
- And then it dawned on me.
1048
01:10:14,560 --> 01:10:17,520
- It came down to me
to tell him the truth.
- Charlie's awful.
1049
01:10:17,600 --> 01:10:19,320
What was the truth?
1050
01:10:19,440 --> 01:10:22,720
- She doesn't listen to anyone.
She says terrible, stupid things...
- No. Well, I have--
1051
01:10:22,840 --> 01:10:25,200
- and she apparently has
no sense of humour at all...
- You're right. I have to talk--
1052
01:10:25,280 --> 01:10:28,160
and talks shit all night long.
1053
01:10:28,240 --> 01:10:31,200
- Come here, you. Oh, I love you.
- Bye-bye.
- Maybe she's been like this all along.
1054
01:10:31,320 --> 01:10:32,880
- Bye, sweetheart.
- Bye-bye.
1055
01:10:32,960 --> 01:10:34,520
- Call me tomorrow, okay?
- Thanks for having us.
1056
01:10:34,640 --> 01:10:37,600
Call me.
Promise to call me. Bye.
1057
01:10:42,600 --> 01:10:44,880
How did I manage
to edit all this out?
1058
01:10:44,960 --> 01:10:49,640
How had I made this girl
the answer to all the world's problems?
1059
01:10:49,760 --> 01:10:51,960
- Hey, Charlie.
- Hey, Rob.
1060
01:10:57,440 --> 01:11:00,560
So, Charlie, why'd you
dump me for Marco?
1061
01:11:00,640 --> 01:11:03,680
Fuck! I knew it! I knew it!
1062
01:11:03,760 --> 01:11:07,280
I knew it! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
1063
01:11:07,400 --> 01:11:09,520
- What?
- You are. You are going through...
1064
01:11:09,640 --> 01:11:12,520
one of those
what-does-it-all-mean things.
1065
01:11:12,640 --> 01:11:17,400
- I can't believe you, Rob.
- Yes, I am. Very much. Indeed so.
1066
01:11:17,520 --> 01:11:21,400
- Oh, God.
- Come on. Answer the question.
1067
01:11:21,480 --> 01:11:24,840
Oh, come on, Charlie.
Don't hold back.
1068
01:11:24,920 --> 01:11:26,960
You can say whatever you like.
1069
01:11:27,040 --> 01:11:29,400
Why'd you dump me for Marco?
1070
01:11:29,480 --> 01:11:35,080
Marco just seemed to be
a bit more glamorous.
1071
01:11:35,200 --> 01:11:38,640
You know?
More sure of himself.
1072
01:11:39,720 --> 01:11:41,360
Less hard work.
1073
01:11:42,760 --> 01:11:46,360
A little sunnier.
1074
01:11:46,440 --> 01:11:48,080
Sparkier.
1075
01:11:50,440 --> 01:11:53,880
Through the park
Make love along the way
1076
01:11:53,960 --> 01:11:57,000
- In Mendocino
- You put that ad up?
1077
01:11:57,120 --> 01:11:59,720
- Yeah.
- What can you play?
1078
01:11:59,800 --> 01:12:03,400
Nothin'.
What kind of stuff are you into?
1079
01:12:03,520 --> 01:12:05,560
The kind of stuff you mentioned.
1080
01:12:05,680 --> 01:12:07,880
But we want to be
more experimental than that.
1081
01:12:07,960 --> 01:12:12,560
We want to retain
our pop sensibilities, but, kind of,
you know, go a little further out.
1082
01:12:12,640 --> 01:12:14,600
- That sounds great.
- No gigs yet.
1083
01:12:14,680 --> 01:12:18,800
We just got together.
Is Tuesday night cool for you?
1084
01:12:18,920 --> 01:12:22,280
- We'll just, you know...
- What I have told you
1085
01:12:22,400 --> 01:12:25,120
- jam.
- Yeah.
- Can you dig it
1086
01:12:25,200 --> 01:12:27,560
All right.
1087
01:12:28,920 --> 01:12:30,480
Later.
1088
01:12:37,840 --> 01:12:40,040
- What?
- What do you mean, what?
1089
01:12:40,120 --> 01:12:42,240
You've had that poster
up on the wall for, like, 17,000 years.
1090
01:12:42,320 --> 01:12:45,440
And then some guy comes in off the
street. You act like it's no big deal.
1091
01:12:45,560 --> 01:12:47,600
It's just a garage band.
It's nothing special.
1092
01:12:47,720 --> 01:12:50,160
- Barry, you don't
even play an instrument.
- I can sing.
1093
01:12:50,240 --> 01:12:53,040
What, you think I'm gonna stick
around here the rest of my life?
1094
01:12:53,160 --> 01:12:56,280
Hey, it's half past
a monkey's ass. Let's go.
1095
01:12:56,400 --> 01:12:59,040
Oh, I can't, um, meet you guys
at the club tonight.
1096
01:12:59,160 --> 01:13:02,760
- That's the way it is in Mendocino
- Why?
1097
01:13:02,840 --> 01:13:05,120
- Who are you going to see?
- Mendocino
- Nobody.
1098
01:13:05,200 --> 01:13:09,080
- Rob! Lookie, lookie!
Dick, are you getting some?
- Mendocino
1099
01:13:10,520 --> 01:13:12,720
Un-fucking-believable!
1100
01:13:12,840 --> 01:13:15,040
Dick's got a hot date!
How did this happen, Dick?
1101
01:13:15,160 --> 01:13:18,600
What rational explanation can there
possibly be? What's her name?
1102
01:13:18,720 --> 01:13:21,920
- Anaugh.
- Anaugh? Anaugh Conda?
1103
01:13:22,000 --> 01:13:24,440
- Anaugh Moss.
- Anaugh Moss?
1104
01:13:24,520 --> 01:13:27,320
Is she all green
and fuzzy and mossy?
1105
01:13:27,400 --> 01:13:29,840
And you met this bruiser
where exactly?
1106
01:13:29,920 --> 01:13:32,280
The home for the mentally challenged
or the blind or the bus station?
1107
01:13:32,400 --> 01:13:35,520
Um, here. She asked me about
the, uh, new Green Day album...
1108
01:13:35,600 --> 01:13:39,280
- and then I told her--
- Oh, man! Finally! Anaugh.
1109
01:13:39,400 --> 01:13:43,080
That's great, Dick!
Really, smoke that ass.
1110
01:13:43,160 --> 01:13:45,040
Listen, Rob, I can't
go to the club either.
1111
01:13:45,160 --> 01:13:47,520
I gotta get some lyrics
down on paper.
1112
01:13:47,640 --> 01:13:52,080
Oh, yeah, me too.
Well, not, uh, lyrics to get down.
1113
01:13:52,160 --> 01:13:56,520
But, um, uh--
So I'll see you, um, tomorrow.
1114
01:14:38,920 --> 01:14:41,520
- Hi, Laura.
- "Top five dream jobs."
1115
01:14:41,600 --> 01:14:43,240
- Hey, that's private.
- "Number one:
1116
01:14:43,320 --> 01:14:47,920
"journalist for Rolling Stone
magazine, 1976 to 1979.
1117
01:14:48,000 --> 01:14:51,360
"Get to meet the Clash, Chrissie Hynde,
Sex Pistols, David Byrne.
1118
01:14:51,440 --> 01:14:54,720
"Get tons of free records.
Number two:
1119
01:14:54,840 --> 01:14:58,960
"producer, Atlantic Records,
1964 to 1971.
1120
01:14:59,080 --> 01:15:01,440
Get to meet Aretha,
Wilson Pickett, Solomon Burke."
1121
01:15:01,520 --> 01:15:04,120
- More free records.
- "More free records
and a shitload of money."
1122
01:15:04,200 --> 01:15:06,240
- Yeah.
- "Number three: any kind of musician."
1123
01:15:06,360 --> 01:15:08,160
Besides classical or rap.
1124
01:15:08,280 --> 01:15:10,480
- "Settle for being one
of the Memphis Horns or something."
- Sure.
1125
01:15:10,560 --> 01:15:14,520
- "I'm not asking to be Jagger
or Hendrix or Otis Redding."
- Uh-huh.
1126
01:15:14,600 --> 01:15:18,640
- "Number four: film director."
- Any kind except German or silent.
1127
01:15:18,720 --> 01:15:21,600
And number five,
we have "architect."
1128
01:15:21,720 --> 01:15:24,760
- Yeah.
- Seven years' training.
1129
01:15:24,880 --> 01:15:27,600
- I'm not sure I even
want to be an architect.
- So you've got a list here...
1130
01:15:27,720 --> 01:15:30,000
of five things you'd do
if qualifications...
1131
01:15:30,120 --> 01:15:32,680
and time and history
and salary were no object?
1132
01:15:32,760 --> 01:15:34,880
- Yeah.
- One of them you don't
really want to do anyway.
1133
01:15:34,960 --> 01:15:37,000
Well, I did put it
at number five.
1134
01:15:37,080 --> 01:15:39,520
Wouldn't you rather own your
own record store than be an architect?
1135
01:15:39,600 --> 01:15:41,960
- Yeah, I suppose.
- And you wouldn't want to be a...
1136
01:15:42,080 --> 01:15:45,120
16th-century explorer
or the king of France or--
1137
01:15:45,240 --> 01:15:47,200
- God, no.
- All right. There you go then.
1138
01:15:47,280 --> 01:15:51,160
Dream job number five:
record store owner.
1139
01:15:58,960 --> 01:16:02,720
I find it interesting that you
keep showing up here, Laura.
1140
01:16:02,800 --> 01:16:05,440
Well, this is the last of it.
1141
01:16:05,560 --> 01:16:08,360
Those bags look heavy.
Where's Ian?
1142
01:16:08,440 --> 01:16:12,720
Or Ray or--
What is his fucking name anyway?
1143
01:16:12,800 --> 01:16:15,440
- What do you call him? Ian or Ray?
- Ray.
1144
01:16:15,520 --> 01:16:19,120
- I hate Ian.
- I hate him too.
1145
01:16:19,200 --> 01:16:22,400
Yeah, I'm sure.
1146
01:16:22,480 --> 01:16:24,360
See ya.
1147
01:16:25,600 --> 01:16:27,480
Goodbye.
1148
01:16:38,160 --> 01:16:40,120
Top five things
I miss about Laura.
1149
01:16:40,200 --> 01:16:43,720
One: sense of humour. Very dry,
but it can also be warm and forgiving.
1150
01:16:43,840 --> 01:16:47,120
And she's got one
of the best all-time laughs
in the history of all-time laughs.
1151
01:16:47,200 --> 01:16:49,920
She laughs with her entire body.
1152
01:16:50,000 --> 01:16:52,560
Two: She's got character.
1153
01:16:52,640 --> 01:16:55,280
Or at least she had character
before the Ian nightmare.
1154
01:16:55,400 --> 01:16:57,360
She's loyal and honest and...
1155
01:16:57,440 --> 01:17:00,320
she doesn't even take it out on people
when she's having a bad day.
1156
01:17:00,400 --> 01:17:02,840
That's character.
1157
01:17:02,960 --> 01:17:05,080
Three:
1158
01:17:08,000 --> 01:17:10,960
I miss her smell...
1159
01:17:11,080 --> 01:17:14,040
and the way she tastes.
1160
01:17:14,120 --> 01:17:16,000
It's a mystery of human chemistry,
and I don't understand it.
1161
01:17:16,120 --> 01:17:21,800
Some people, as far as your senses
are concerned, just feel like home.
1162
01:17:26,800 --> 01:17:29,160
I really dig
how she walks around.
1163
01:17:29,240 --> 01:17:31,360
It's like she doesn't care how
she looks or what she projects.
1164
01:17:31,440 --> 01:17:36,600
And it's not that she doesn't care,
it's just-- She's not affected, I guess.
1165
01:17:36,680 --> 01:17:39,120
And that gives her grace.
1166
01:17:39,240 --> 01:17:42,040
And five: She does this thing in bed
when she can't get to sleep.
1167
01:17:42,120 --> 01:17:45,160
She kind of half-moans and then rubs her
feet together an equal number of times.
1168
01:17:45,280 --> 01:17:48,960
It just kills me.
1169
01:17:49,080 --> 01:17:51,440
Believe me, I mean,
I could do a top-five-things
about her that drive me crazy...
1170
01:17:51,520 --> 01:17:54,560
but it's just your garden variety
women, you know, schizo stuff...
1171
01:17:54,680 --> 01:17:58,280
and that's the kind of thinking
that got me here.
1172
01:18:02,720 --> 01:18:06,160
- Look out!
- Damn! You maggots!
1173
01:18:06,280 --> 01:18:08,240
Whoa, whoa! Toss it, man!
1174
01:18:08,320 --> 01:18:11,120
- You're pretty when you're angry.
- Shit!
1175
01:18:14,880 --> 01:18:17,600
- Hey, Rob, Laura called.
- Really?
1176
01:18:17,680 --> 01:18:21,560
What you gonna do
1177
01:18:21,640 --> 01:18:26,080
The man's gone out to get you
1178
01:18:26,200 --> 01:18:29,000
How you gonna know
1179
01:18:29,080 --> 01:18:32,040
- What is this?
- It's Vince and Justin.
1180
01:18:32,120 --> 01:18:34,760
- Who's Vince and Justin?
- It's those little skate fuckers.
1181
01:18:34,880 --> 01:18:37,320
- No way.
- Way.
1182
01:18:37,440 --> 01:18:40,160
It's really--
1183
01:18:41,440 --> 01:18:43,800
It's really fuckin' good.
1184
01:18:48,360 --> 01:18:51,000
Hey, do you guys know Vince and Justin,
the guys that come in my store?
1185
01:18:51,120 --> 01:18:53,560
- Yeah, they're right over there, man.
- Thanks.
- No problem.
1186
01:18:53,640 --> 01:18:57,520
- Quit smoking. I'm telling you should--
- Hey! Your tape.
1187
01:18:57,640 --> 01:19:01,000
- It's good.
- I know. We made it.
- It's all right. Thank you.
1188
01:19:01,120 --> 01:19:04,880
I mean, it's rough, but,
unbelievably, it shows promise.
1189
01:19:04,960 --> 01:19:07,320
I'll put out your record.
1190
01:19:07,440 --> 01:19:10,240
Any profits we split down the middle
after I recoup expenses, okay?
1191
01:19:10,320 --> 01:19:14,520
Recoup expenses?
Man, you're gonna recoup a big,
fat Mercedes is what you're gonna do.
1192
01:19:14,640 --> 01:19:16,520
- We're not there yet, Justin.
- I'm Vince.
1193
01:19:16,640 --> 01:19:19,440
Whatever.
What's the name of your band?
1194
01:19:19,520 --> 01:19:21,640
- Uh, the Kinky Wizards.
- Nice.
1195
01:19:21,760 --> 01:19:23,800
What's the name of your label?
1196
01:19:23,880 --> 01:19:25,920
Top Five Records.
1197
01:19:26,000 --> 01:19:28,880
What was that? You just told them
you're gonna put out a record with them?
1198
01:19:29,000 --> 01:19:31,720
Yeah. So what?
You said yourself those guys were good.
What are you getting hot about?
1199
01:19:31,840 --> 01:19:35,360
Well, it just seems
that you think it would be wiser
to start a record label...
1200
01:19:35,480 --> 01:19:38,760
by putting out a record
with business-crippling
Nazi youth shoplifters...
1201
01:19:38,840 --> 01:19:41,960
than with someone you know
in your bitter, jealous heart
is a musical visionary, that's all.
1202
01:19:42,080 --> 01:19:45,040
Yeah, what do your songs sound like?
Sex Pistols? Nirvana?
Pop Abrams and the Smurfs?
1203
01:19:45,120 --> 01:19:47,480
You know what? You wouldn't be familiar
with our immediate influences.
1204
01:19:47,600 --> 01:19:51,720
- Try me.
- They're mostly German.
- Kraftwerk? Falco? Hasselhoff?
1205
01:19:51,800 --> 01:19:53,680
Hey. You called?
1206
01:19:56,640 --> 01:19:58,600
Fuckin' asshole.
1207
01:20:00,360 --> 01:20:04,240
- Laura, are you all right?
- My dad--
1208
01:20:04,360 --> 01:20:07,720
My dad died.
1209
01:20:15,840 --> 01:20:19,200
- What's up?
- Laura's dad died.
1210
01:20:19,280 --> 01:20:21,160
Oh, drag.
1211
01:20:23,080 --> 01:20:24,800
I'm sorry, Rob.
1212
01:20:26,800 --> 01:20:30,920
Hey, top five songs about death.
1213
01:20:31,000 --> 01:20:33,520
A Laura's dad tribute list.
1214
01:20:33,600 --> 01:20:36,960
Okay? Okay.
1215
01:20:37,080 --> 01:20:39,280
"Leader Of The Pack."
1216
01:20:39,400 --> 01:20:42,840
The guy fuckin' beefs it
on his motorcycle and dies, right?
1217
01:20:42,920 --> 01:20:45,040
"Dead Man's Curve."
Jan and Dean.
1218
01:20:45,160 --> 01:20:48,760
Do you know that right after
they recorded that song,
Jan himself, um, crashed his--
1219
01:20:48,840 --> 01:20:50,720
- It was Dean, you fuckin' idiot.
- it was Jan.
1220
01:20:50,840 --> 01:20:53,200
- It was a long time after the song--
- Okay, whatever.
1221
01:20:53,320 --> 01:20:55,960
"Tell Laura I Love Her."
That would bring the house down.
1222
01:20:56,080 --> 01:20:58,520
Laura's mom could sing it.
1223
01:20:58,640 --> 01:21:00,520
- You know what I'd want?
- Huh?
1224
01:21:00,640 --> 01:21:03,160
"One Step Beyond" by Madness.
1225
01:21:03,240 --> 01:21:05,960
No, no, no, no, no.
Wh-When are you going home?
1226
01:21:06,040 --> 01:21:09,160
In a minute,
when I get it together.
1227
01:21:09,240 --> 01:21:11,280
And, uh, "You Can't
Always Get What You Want."
1228
01:21:11,400 --> 01:21:14,920
No, immediate disqualification because
of its involvement with The Big Chill.
1229
01:21:15,040 --> 01:21:16,600
Oh, God, you're right.
1230
01:21:16,720 --> 01:21:20,000
Um, Mom wants you
to come to the funeral.
1231
01:21:20,080 --> 01:21:24,360
- Oh. Me?
- Yeah, 'cause my dad
really liked you, and...
1232
01:21:24,480 --> 01:21:27,680
Mom never told him we'd split,
because he wasn't up to it.
1233
01:21:27,760 --> 01:21:29,800
"Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald."
Uh, Gordon Lightfoot.
1234
01:21:29,880 --> 01:21:32,160
Bastard. That's so good.
That should have been mine.
1235
01:21:32,280 --> 01:21:34,800
Do you, uh--
Do you want me there?
1236
01:21:34,880 --> 01:21:37,680
I don't care, as long as you don't
expect me to hold your hand.
1237
01:21:37,800 --> 01:21:40,600
- Is Ray going?
- No!
1238
01:21:43,160 --> 01:21:45,800
The night Laura's daddy died
1239
01:21:45,920 --> 01:21:49,200
Sha-na-na, na-na-na
na-na-na-na-na
1240
01:21:49,280 --> 01:21:50,760
Brother, what a night
it really was
1241
01:21:50,880 --> 01:21:53,480
Mother, what a night it really--
Angina's tough
1242
01:21:53,560 --> 01:21:55,440
Glory be
1243
01:21:55,560 --> 01:21:57,440
Brother, what a night
it really was
1244
01:21:57,560 --> 01:22:00,920
Brother, what a night
Angina's tough--
1245
01:22:01,000 --> 01:22:05,360
Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be Thy name.
1246
01:22:05,440 --> 01:22:09,040
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done...
1247
01:22:09,160 --> 01:22:11,520
- on Earth as it is in heaven.
- Songs at my funeral:
1248
01:22:11,640 --> 01:22:14,080
- Bless this day--
- "Many Rivers To Cross" by Jimmy Cliff.
1249
01:22:14,200 --> 01:22:16,080
"Angel" by Aretha Franklin...
1250
01:22:16,200 --> 01:22:20,080
and I've always had
this fantasy that some beautiful,
tearful woman will insist on...
1251
01:22:20,200 --> 01:22:23,720
"You're The Best Thing That Ever
Happened To Me" by Gladys Knight.
1252
01:22:23,800 --> 01:22:27,320
- But who would that woman be?
- Amen.
1253
01:22:58,400 --> 01:23:00,520
- Hey, Jo.
- Hi, Liz.
- Hey.
1254
01:23:00,640 --> 01:23:03,920
- How are you doing?
- I'm all right, I suppose.
1255
01:23:04,000 --> 01:23:07,880
Mom's not too bad.
But Laura-- I don't know.
1256
01:23:08,000 --> 01:23:12,120
Yeah, well, she's had a rough time
of it already without this.
1257
01:23:12,240 --> 01:23:15,680
It's just so hard
when you put all of your efforts
into one area of your life...
1258
01:23:15,800 --> 01:23:19,320
and it doesn't work out.
1259
01:23:19,440 --> 01:23:23,040
Don't mind me. Really. It's no problem.
Just pretend like you're talking
about someone else. It's okay.
1260
01:23:23,120 --> 01:23:28,960
Well, in fact, we are talking about
someone else. We're talking about Laura.
1261
01:23:29,080 --> 01:23:31,200
- Oh.
- Oh?
1262
01:23:31,320 --> 01:23:33,520
Don't fuckin' say "oh"
like that to me, Liz.
1263
01:23:33,600 --> 01:23:36,560
I'm really sorry, Jo. Look,
I can either stick up for myself...
1264
01:23:36,640 --> 01:23:39,200
or I can believe everything you say
about me and end up hating myself.
1265
01:23:39,280 --> 01:23:41,160
But that's not
much of a life, is it? Huh?
1266
01:23:41,280 --> 01:23:44,800
- I mean--
- Do you think this is really
the time to be talking about--
1267
01:23:44,880 --> 01:23:48,000
Just because it's never the time, Liz?
I can't go on apologizing my whole life.
1268
01:23:48,080 --> 01:23:50,680
I think just the once would do!
1269
01:23:55,520 --> 01:23:58,720
- I'm very sorry, Laura.
- Thanks for coming.
1270
01:23:58,800 --> 01:24:01,080
I'm so sorry, Laura.
1271
01:24:02,160 --> 01:24:04,600
Thank you. I appreciate that.
1272
01:24:04,680 --> 01:24:07,880
Laura, I'm sorry.
1273
01:24:26,200 --> 01:24:28,080
Most of the time
1274
01:24:29,960 --> 01:24:32,560
I'm clear-focused allaround
1275
01:24:32,640 --> 01:24:35,600
Most of the time
1276
01:24:35,720 --> 01:24:38,920
I can keep both feet on the ground
1277
01:24:40,040 --> 01:24:43,080
I can follow the path
1278
01:24:43,200 --> 01:24:46,480
I can read the sign
1279
01:24:46,560 --> 01:24:51,480
Stay right with it
when the road unwinds
1280
01:24:51,560 --> 01:24:54,440
I can handle whatever
1281
01:24:54,520 --> 01:24:57,800
I stumble upon
1282
01:24:57,880 --> 01:25:02,480
I don't even notice she's gone
1283
01:25:02,560 --> 01:25:06,000
- I can see now I never
really committed to Laura.
- Most of the time
1284
01:25:06,120 --> 01:25:09,160
I always had one foot
out the door...
1285
01:25:09,240 --> 01:25:11,800
and that prevented me
from doing a lot of things...
1286
01:25:11,880 --> 01:25:15,000
like thinking
about my future and--
1287
01:25:15,080 --> 01:25:18,600
- I guess it made more sense
to commit to nothing.
- Most of the time
1288
01:25:18,720 --> 01:25:22,320
- Keep my options open.
- It's well understood
1289
01:25:22,400 --> 01:25:24,600
- And that's suicide.
- Most of the time
1290
01:25:26,760 --> 01:25:29,960
- By tiny, tiny increments.
- I wouldn't change it if I could
1291
01:25:30,040 --> 01:25:33,560
I can make it all match up
1292
01:25:33,680 --> 01:25:36,560
I can hold my own
1293
01:25:36,640 --> 01:25:39,840
I can deal with the situation
1294
01:25:39,960 --> 01:25:42,000
Right down to the bone
1295
01:25:42,120 --> 01:25:46,160
I can survive
and I can endure
1296
01:25:48,040 --> 01:25:51,640
Hell, I don't even think
1297
01:25:51,760 --> 01:25:54,320
About her
1298
01:25:54,400 --> 01:25:56,040
Most of the time
1299
01:25:58,760 --> 01:26:02,280
Are you gonna lie
in that flower bed all night?
1300
01:26:06,800 --> 01:26:08,200
No.
1301
01:26:08,280 --> 01:26:11,160
- You're soaking.
- Yeah.
1302
01:26:11,240 --> 01:26:12,960
You're also an idiot.
1303
01:26:16,120 --> 01:26:20,560
- Look, Laura, I'm really sorry.
- Thank you. I appreciate it.
1304
01:26:20,680 --> 01:26:23,400
Why don't you just get back, and
I'm just gonna wait here for the bus.
1305
01:26:23,520 --> 01:26:27,480
No, I don't want to be there.
When I saw you leave,
I used it as an excuse to get out.
1306
01:26:30,680 --> 01:26:33,560
- Is there anything I can do?
- Come on.
1307
01:26:33,640 --> 01:26:37,920
- Where?
- I'll show you. Let's go.
1308
01:26:38,000 --> 01:26:39,400
Right.
1309
01:26:52,200 --> 01:26:55,240
Dad used to bring us here
when we were kids.
1310
01:26:57,920 --> 01:27:01,360
Listen, Rob, would you
have sex with me?
1311
01:27:04,320 --> 01:27:07,760
Cause I want to feel
something else than this.
1312
01:27:07,880 --> 01:27:11,560
It's either that, or I go home
and put my hand in the fire.
1313
01:27:13,120 --> 01:27:17,160
Unless you want to stub
cigarettes out on my arm.
1314
01:27:17,280 --> 01:27:21,320
No. I only have a few left.
I've been saving them for later.
1315
01:27:21,440 --> 01:27:25,320
Right. It'll have to be sex then.
1316
01:27:25,440 --> 01:27:28,880
Right. Right.
1317
01:27:30,160 --> 01:27:32,760
I knew there was a reason
I wore a skirt today.
1318
01:27:32,840 --> 01:27:36,680
- Just stay there.
- Okay.
1319
01:27:51,200 --> 01:27:53,560
- Hi.
- Hi.
1320
01:27:53,680 --> 01:27:57,960
It doesn't seem so long ago
that I looked at you from here.
1321
01:28:33,120 --> 01:28:35,920
Hey, go be with your mom.
1322
01:28:37,120 --> 01:28:39,080
I'm too tired.
1323
01:28:39,200 --> 01:28:42,320
I'm too tired
not to be with you.
1324
01:28:47,960 --> 01:28:50,520
Well, so if you had a bit more energy,
we'd stay split up?
1325
01:28:50,600 --> 01:28:55,120
But things being as they are,
with you being wiped out and all,
you wanna get back together?
1326
01:28:55,240 --> 01:28:58,600
- Is that it?
- Yeah.
1327
01:29:03,320 --> 01:29:05,840
What about Ian?
1328
01:29:05,920 --> 01:29:08,360
Well, Ray's a disaster.
1329
01:29:09,520 --> 01:29:11,480
Look...
1330
01:29:11,560 --> 01:29:14,280
I, I know it's not
very romantic, Rob.
1331
01:29:14,400 --> 01:29:18,520
But there will be romance again
at some stage, I'm sure. I--
1332
01:29:18,640 --> 01:29:21,520
- I just--
- So that's it?
1333
01:29:21,640 --> 01:29:25,400
Well, you've made it clear
you want me back, so--
1334
01:29:25,520 --> 01:29:29,040
Look, um, we can talk about it
later if-if you want to.
1335
01:29:29,120 --> 01:29:32,080
Right now, I-- I just--
1336
01:29:34,440 --> 01:29:37,480
Right now, I just
want to go home with you.
1337
01:29:39,400 --> 01:29:41,200
Okay.
1338
01:29:41,320 --> 01:29:44,200
So, yeah.
1339
01:29:57,920 --> 01:30:01,800
And so we got back together,
and it was great.
1340
01:30:01,880 --> 01:30:04,080
She moved all her stuff back in,
all at once.
1341
01:30:04,160 --> 01:30:07,840
- So when exactly did you decide
to get back with me exactly?
- I'm not telling you.
1342
01:30:07,920 --> 01:30:12,440
- See, that's not-- not a nice way
to play at all. That's not--
- The better you look
1343
01:30:12,560 --> 01:30:16,080
- We went out to dinner every night.
- The more I want you
1344
01:30:16,160 --> 01:30:17,040
What else?
1345
01:30:17,160 --> 01:30:20,360
- When you turn on your smile
- We stayed in
and made love all the time.
1346
01:30:20,480 --> 01:30:23,920
- I feel my heart go wild
- We talked about the future.
1347
01:30:24,040 --> 01:30:27,080
- important stuff. issues.
- I'm like a child with
1348
01:30:27,160 --> 01:30:29,800
- A brand new toy
- How can you like
Art Garfunkel and Marvin Gaye?
1349
01:30:29,920 --> 01:30:32,200
That's like saying you support
the Israelis and the Palestinians.
1350
01:30:32,320 --> 01:30:34,680
No, it's not like saying
that at all actually, Rob.
1351
01:30:34,800 --> 01:30:36,920
Marvin Gaye and Art Garfunkel
make pop records.
1352
01:30:37,000 --> 01:30:39,360
Made. Made. Marvin Gaye's dead.
His father shot him.
1353
01:30:39,480 --> 01:30:44,680
You could say it was everything
I ever wanted really.
1354
01:30:44,760 --> 01:30:45,960
- Marvin Gaye!
- I know.
1355
01:30:46,040 --> 01:30:47,920
"Let's Get It On."
That's our song!
1356
01:30:48,040 --> 01:30:49,760
Marvin Gaye is responsible
for our entire relationship.
1357
01:30:49,880 --> 01:30:52,080
Oh, is that so?
I'd like a word with him then.
1358
01:30:52,200 --> 01:30:55,400
It was everything
I ever wanted...
1359
01:30:55,520 --> 01:30:58,320
except for some
fuckin' reason...
1360
01:31:00,560 --> 01:31:02,440
this--
1361
01:31:09,880 --> 01:31:12,000
Excuse me.
Is this Stereolab?
1362
01:31:13,280 --> 01:31:15,320
Yeah. Yeah, it is.
1363
01:31:15,440 --> 01:31:17,640
I haven't heard this one.
It's really good.
1364
01:31:17,760 --> 01:31:20,040
Yeah, I know.
1365
01:31:21,000 --> 01:31:24,200
- Are you Bob?
- Rob.
1366
01:31:24,280 --> 01:31:27,080
Oh, right. Yeah, Rob.
You used to deejay.
1367
01:31:27,160 --> 01:31:30,120
I used to go to the Doubledoor
to hear you spin.
1368
01:31:30,200 --> 01:31:33,160
You were unbelievable.
1369
01:31:33,240 --> 01:31:35,680
- Really?
- I'm Caroline.
1370
01:31:35,760 --> 01:31:37,640
Hi.
1371
01:31:37,760 --> 01:31:41,040
- What do you do?
- I work for the Reader.
I write a music column.
1372
01:31:41,120 --> 01:31:44,560
You're Caroline Fortis?
I read your column.
1373
01:31:44,640 --> 01:31:46,920
- It's great. You really know
what you're talking about.
- Thanks.
1374
01:31:47,000 --> 01:31:49,120
- Rob, phone.
- Can you take a message?
1375
01:31:49,240 --> 01:31:51,200
It's your girlfriend.
1376
01:31:54,240 --> 01:31:56,120
Excuse me.
1377
01:32:01,960 --> 01:32:02,840
Hey.
1378
01:32:15,360 --> 01:32:17,960
Hey, what the fuck is this?
1379
01:32:19,280 --> 01:32:21,720
- Talk to your woman.
- It was her idea.
1380
01:32:21,840 --> 01:32:24,880
Crumbsbusted
Pass the popcorn as I kick--
1381
01:32:24,960 --> 01:32:27,400
Laura!
1382
01:32:27,480 --> 01:32:29,200
"Dance music for old people"?
1383
01:32:29,280 --> 01:32:32,800
It's an idea I had
when I was with, um, Ian...
1384
01:32:32,920 --> 01:32:36,960
and I thought it was such
a good one that I was really annoyed
we weren't together any more.
1385
01:32:37,040 --> 01:32:39,000
- It may be why I came back.
- A record release party?
1386
01:32:39,120 --> 01:32:40,840
What if I was doing something
that can't be cancelled?
1387
01:32:40,920 --> 01:32:43,360
- Rob, what are you ever doing
that can't be cancelled?
- That's not the point!
1388
01:32:43,480 --> 01:32:47,160
- The single cannot be done in time.
I mean, there's a million things!
- It'll be done.
1389
01:32:47,240 --> 01:32:49,760
Oh, guess what.
Barry said his band will play a set.
1390
01:32:49,840 --> 01:32:52,880
Barry is playing at this thing?
1391
01:32:54,240 --> 01:32:58,280
Fucking, what are you--
Are you insane?
1392
01:32:58,360 --> 01:33:00,800
- Barry, I'll give-- I'll give you ten
percent of the door if you don't play.
- No!
1393
01:33:00,920 --> 01:33:02,960
Rob, we're getting that anyway.
1394
01:33:03,080 --> 01:33:06,280
- Twenty. Twenty percent.
- No! Come on, Rob. We need the gig.
1395
01:33:06,360 --> 01:33:11,280
A hundred and ten percent.
That's how much it means to me
not to hear you play.
1396
01:33:11,360 --> 01:33:14,480
- Rob, we're called Sonic Death Monkey.
- Sonic Death Monkey?
1397
01:33:14,600 --> 01:33:17,640
Yeah. And if Laura and
her bourgeois lawyer friends
can't handle it, fuck them.
1398
01:33:17,760 --> 01:33:21,720
Let'em riot.
We're Sonic fucking Death Monkey.
1399
01:33:21,800 --> 01:33:25,240
Let me get this straight.
We made the CD with you.
1400
01:33:25,320 --> 01:33:30,160
Now your friends and
your girlfriend are throwing some kind
of celebration party or something...
1401
01:33:30,280 --> 01:33:32,880
and you're asking us
not to come to the party?
1402
01:33:32,960 --> 01:33:35,080
Exactly.
1403
01:33:35,160 --> 01:33:38,280
I don't know, dude.
That just seems kind of stupid.
1404
01:33:38,400 --> 01:33:42,760
It's just the whole thing
is just blown way out of proportion.
1405
01:33:42,880 --> 01:33:45,600
It's just a three-song CD.
It's a single.
1406
01:33:45,720 --> 01:33:47,920
It's just--
It's not a big deal.
1407
01:33:49,360 --> 01:33:52,800
It's just that
you're making something.
1408
01:33:52,880 --> 01:33:55,680
You, the critic,
the professional appreciator...
1409
01:33:55,760 --> 01:33:57,640
put something new into the world...
1410
01:33:57,760 --> 01:34:01,960
and the second
one of those things gets sold to
someone, you're officially a part of it.
1411
01:34:02,080 --> 01:34:04,280
Congratulations, Rob.
1412
01:34:07,360 --> 01:34:10,880
You know, I guess I think I've
always been a professional critic...
1413
01:34:11,000 --> 01:34:14,280
you know, or some sort of
professional appreciator or something.
1414
01:34:14,360 --> 01:34:16,960
And I just wanted to,
you know, do something new...
1415
01:34:17,040 --> 01:34:18,920
put something new
out into the world...
1416
01:34:19,040 --> 01:34:20,840
you know, kind of really
put my money where my mouth is.
1417
01:34:20,920 --> 01:34:24,200
Yeah. Wow. I would-- You know,
I would love to hear them.
1418
01:34:24,320 --> 01:34:27,760
- Why don't I send it over to you
when it's, uh, done?
- Really?
1419
01:34:27,840 --> 01:34:31,040
- I will look forward to that.
- I will look forward to sending it.
1420
01:34:31,160 --> 01:34:34,200
- You know, we should
get back to the interview.
- Sure, yeah.
1421
01:34:34,320 --> 01:34:39,520
Okay. What are your all-time
top five favorite records?
1422
01:34:41,040 --> 01:34:43,000
In a club or at home?
1423
01:34:43,080 --> 01:34:48,360
Listen. I'll tell you what.
Why don't I just make you a tape?
1424
01:34:51,240 --> 01:34:54,760
Now, the making of a good compilation
tape is a very subtle art.
1425
01:34:54,880 --> 01:34:56,840
Many do's and don'ts.
1426
01:34:56,920 --> 01:34:59,880
First of all, you're using someone
else's poetry to express how you feel.
1427
01:35:00,000 --> 01:35:02,640
This is a delicate thing.
1428
01:35:02,720 --> 01:35:05,360
So, for this one, I'm thinking--
1429
01:35:07,120 --> 01:35:09,000
I'm thinking--
1430
01:35:10,680 --> 01:35:12,560
When is this gonna stop?
1431
01:35:12,680 --> 01:35:14,480
When's what gonna stop?
1432
01:35:14,600 --> 01:35:16,480
Uh, nothin'.
1433
01:35:20,120 --> 01:35:22,080
Who's the tape for?
1434
01:35:24,440 --> 01:35:27,080
Just some girl who interviewed me
for the Reader.
1435
01:35:36,600 --> 01:35:39,720
So what am I gonna do now?
Just keep jumping from rock to rock...
1436
01:35:39,800 --> 01:35:43,000
for the rest of my life
until there aren't any rocks left?
1437
01:35:43,120 --> 01:35:46,080
Should I bolt every time
I get that feeling in my gut
when I meet someone new?
1438
01:35:46,200 --> 01:35:49,400
I've been thinking with my gut
since I was 14 years old...
1439
01:35:49,480 --> 01:35:54,240
and, frankly speaking,
I've come to the conclusion that
my guts have shit for brains.
1440
01:36:00,840 --> 01:36:04,600
Hi. A drinking lunch
on a school day.
1441
01:36:04,680 --> 01:36:07,040
That's a nice surprise.
1442
01:36:12,680 --> 01:36:16,440
- Are you nervous about tomorrow night?
- Not really, no.
1443
01:36:18,920 --> 01:36:22,040
Well, um, are you gonna talk to me,
or shall I get my paper out?
1444
01:36:22,120 --> 01:36:25,480
- No, no, I'm gonna talk to you.
- Great. What are you
gonna talk to me about?
1445
01:36:25,560 --> 01:36:29,440
Um, I'm gonna talk to you
about whether or not...
1446
01:36:31,840 --> 01:36:34,360
you want to get married to me.
1447
01:36:36,920 --> 01:36:39,040
- I'm serious.
- Yes, I know.
1448
01:36:39,160 --> 01:36:41,440
Well, thanks a fucking bunch.
1449
01:36:41,560 --> 01:36:44,000
I'm sorry, but two days ago
you were making tapes...
1450
01:36:44,080 --> 01:36:46,280
- for that girl from The Reader.
- Yeah.
1451
01:36:46,360 --> 01:36:49,320
Well, forgive me if I don't think
of you as the world's safest bet.
1452
01:36:49,400 --> 01:36:51,960
Would you marry me if I was?
1453
01:36:52,040 --> 01:36:54,760
- What brought all this on?
- I don't know.
1454
01:36:54,880 --> 01:36:57,320
- I'm just sick of thinking
about it all the time.
- About what?
1455
01:36:57,400 --> 01:37:02,920
This stuff. Love and settling down
and marriage, you know?
1456
01:37:03,000 --> 01:37:06,040
I want to think
about something else.
1457
01:37:06,160 --> 01:37:08,040
I changed my mind.
1458
01:37:08,160 --> 01:37:10,440
That's the most romantic thing
I've ever heard.
1459
01:37:10,560 --> 01:37:12,600
- I do. I will.
- Just shut up, please.
1460
01:37:12,720 --> 01:37:15,440
I'm trying to explain, okay?
1461
01:37:15,520 --> 01:37:18,240
That other girl,
or other women, whatever--
1462
01:37:18,320 --> 01:37:22,360
I mean, I was thinking
that they're just fantasies.
1463
01:37:24,160 --> 01:37:26,600
You know? And they always
seem really great...
1464
01:37:26,720 --> 01:37:29,760
because there's
never any problems.
1465
01:37:29,880 --> 01:37:32,400
And if there are,
they're cute problems like...
1466
01:37:32,480 --> 01:37:34,360
you know, we bought each other
the same Christmas present...
1467
01:37:34,480 --> 01:37:37,360
or she wants to go see a movie
that I've already seen, you know?
1468
01:37:37,440 --> 01:37:40,160
And then I come home, and
you and I have real problems...
1469
01:37:40,280 --> 01:37:43,480
and you don't even want to see
the movie I want to see, period.
1470
01:37:43,560 --> 01:37:45,600
- There's no lingerie and--
- I have lingerie.
1471
01:37:45,720 --> 01:37:48,920
Yes, you do.
You have great lingerie, but you
also have the cotton underwear...
1472
01:37:49,040 --> 01:37:53,880
that's been washed a thousand times,
and it's hanging on the thing and--
1473
01:37:53,960 --> 01:37:57,000
A-And they have it too.
It's just I don't have to see it
because it's not in the fantasy.
1474
01:37:57,080 --> 01:37:59,440
Do you understand?
1475
01:37:59,520 --> 01:38:02,040
I'm tired of the fantasy...
1476
01:38:02,120 --> 01:38:04,720
because it doesn't
really exist.
1477
01:38:04,800 --> 01:38:08,480
And there are never really
any surprises, and it never really--
1478
01:38:08,560 --> 01:38:10,840
- Delivers?
- Delivers.
1479
01:38:10,920 --> 01:38:14,200
Right. And I'm tired of it.
1480
01:38:16,400 --> 01:38:19,200
And I'm tired of everything else,
for that matter.
1481
01:38:20,880 --> 01:38:23,400
But I don't ever seem
to get tired of you.
1482
01:38:23,480 --> 01:38:25,440
So--
1483
01:38:25,560 --> 01:38:27,600
I think I know what you mean.
1484
01:38:29,040 --> 01:38:32,080
But were you really
expecting me to say yes?
1485
01:38:33,600 --> 01:38:37,120
I don't know.
I didn't think about it really.
1486
01:38:38,640 --> 01:38:41,440
I thought asking
was the important part.
1487
01:38:43,360 --> 01:38:47,320
Well, you've asked. Thank you.
1488
01:39:07,080 --> 01:39:10,120
- All right!
- Uh, thanks for coming out here tonight.
1489
01:39:10,200 --> 01:39:13,240
That was just a little bit
of "I Sold My Mom's Wheelchair..."
1490
01:39:13,360 --> 01:39:15,400
the title track
from the album of same name...
1491
01:39:15,520 --> 01:39:18,320
the record we're having
this record release party for.
1492
01:39:18,400 --> 01:39:21,920
The two burgeoning criminals behind
this opus are standing by the bar.
1493
01:39:22,040 --> 01:39:25,320
They're underage, and
we'll lose our liquor license--
1494
01:39:30,520 --> 01:39:32,880
But we'll get to them in a moment.
1495
01:39:32,960 --> 01:39:36,240
First, I have to introduce a band,
so please don't leave...
1496
01:39:36,320 --> 01:39:40,080
until after they finish
and we play the record.
1497
01:39:40,160 --> 01:39:43,280
Right now, it's my
great, great pleasure...
1498
01:39:43,400 --> 01:39:47,680
to introduce Sonic Death Monkey.
1499
01:39:54,680 --> 01:39:56,720
I'm an idiot. I should've
played the whole album first.
1500
01:39:56,800 --> 01:39:58,680
- These people are gonna
burn the place down.
- No, no, it's gonna be fine.
1501
01:39:58,800 --> 01:40:02,480
It's gonna be fine.
These people are ready for anything.
1502
01:40:02,600 --> 01:40:05,560
- It's gonna be fine. Watch.
- Thank you.
1503
01:40:05,680 --> 01:40:08,800
You're too kind. Rob, thank you
for the enthusiastic intro...
1504
01:40:08,880 --> 01:40:11,080
but we're no longer
called Sonic Death Monkey.
1505
01:40:11,160 --> 01:40:15,360
Uh, we're on the verge of being
called, uh, Kathleen Turner Overdrive.
1506
01:40:15,440 --> 01:40:18,000
However, this evening
we will be Barry Jive...
1507
01:40:18,080 --> 01:40:20,960
and the Uptown Five.
1508
01:41:58,520 --> 01:42:01,960
The making of a great
compilation tape...
1509
01:42:02,080 --> 01:42:05,520
like breaking up, is hard to do and
takes ages longer than it might seem.
1510
01:42:05,600 --> 01:42:07,960
You gotta kick it off with
a killer to grab attention.
1511
01:42:08,040 --> 01:42:11,320
Then you gotta take it up a notch,
but you don't want to blow your wad.
1512
01:42:11,400 --> 01:42:15,680
So then you gotta cool it off a notch.
There are a lot of rules.
1513
01:42:16,520 --> 01:42:18,640
Anyway, I've started
to make a tape...
1514
01:42:18,720 --> 01:42:21,920
in my head for Laura.
1515
01:42:22,040 --> 01:42:23,920
Full of stuff she'd like.
1516
01:42:24,040 --> 01:42:26,000
Full of stuff that'd make her happy.
1517
01:42:28,960 --> 01:42:33,960
For the first time, I can sort
of see how that's done.